Ask the Witches • Butthurt

The great impact children have on our lives and anuses

Q: I have a colorectal consult because having two babies ruined my butt. Have any of you done this? I feel like it's extremely rude that I'm not allowed to get drunk first.

B: I had three c-sections, no vaginal births, and three small earlyish babies, but I gained a ton of preeclampsia water weight with my third. This is how the butt doctor examined me: …