I started this newsletter, first free and on Wix, three years ago this weekend. I love the writing and community aspect of it but the hustle can be challenging. Substack (and capitalism and ego) spotlights the appeal of more subscribers and more readers, more discussion, but I also would rather draw in fewer people who want to read it than lots of people who are on the fence or even hate-read. It’s also challenging to try to write something heartfelt/funny/useful and simultaneously turn that piece into an effective marketing tool for more of the same.
But! Some nice friends have said some nice stuff about Witches lately that made me think a bit about where we come from, which I wanted to briefly contemplate on this anniversary:
There is no best way when it comes to many parenting choices (especially in a pandemic.) Data can only guide you so much, assuming you have the bandwidth to analyze data. Parenting books often make you think you have control over things you don’t and are so long. One intelligent way to proceed is by listening to experts, which includes professionals as well as other common sense mothers who have been there and done that, compassionate moms who are happy to share their experiences but don’t have skin in the game regarding whether you make the same choices as them.
Emily Gould put it so kindly this way in her newsletter this week which made me feel like maybe that ideal sometimes does come across— “What a freaking miracle that Claire has created parenting content and community on the Internet that's nontoxic and helpful.”You have to be able to laugh about and make inappropriate jokes about kids, parenting, marriage, death, sex and shits or you will die. Here is a great example of a witch (Lyz) encountering a non-witch in the wild:
If anyone wants to know how my sports mom attempt is going, I just did a 2-hour shift at concessions and made a cocaine joke and the mother who was working with me very patiently explained to me why I shouldn't make jokes like that in front of children.
Next time you hear a mom make a joke about cocaine at a kids’ sports event, do a good deed and laugh loudly and then one-up it with one about black tar heroin.
I hope you can read each issue on the toilet. I am always happy to share my and your faves on Twitter and in the comments but I make a choice to not do a lot of “recommended reading” or “things I’m loving lately” links in the newsletter. I subscribe to some things that occasionally make me feel behind on reading assignments. Sometimes you just wanna read something and move on.
No spon. No brands support this content. I’m not bragging about that. But just know you won’t get any issues about overnight oats brought to you by General Mills. Anytime another witch or I recommend something, know it’s from the bottom of our black little hearts.
No prescribed bright side. This newsletter will never tell you that the work you are putting into your children/marriage/job/dinner is “all worth it.” Who am I to say?
Parents can share a wide range of experiences and practices and still connect over the sweet relief that is talking shit about your family. It has bonded me with mothers with experiences quite different from mine. What a joy it was to meet my first home-birth long-term breastfeeding mom who didn’t seem to like her kids any more than I like mine and was unashamed about it. One more nice recent blurb on that note: Christina Rentz Martinson said this week, of E.W., “All writing for or about parenting should begin with the baseline that we all love our children and are doing our best despite being set up to fail.”
I think you deserve a partner (and a culture) that respects your time alone, time with friends, time for your career and passion, and a safe space to say what you need to say in a hard moment. The smartest partners encourage this time and space because they know it makes for a happier mom.
I just want to reassure you that I do not own a letterboard.
Anyway thanks to you long-haulers and you newcomers. Here’s me hustling—if you haven’t become a paid subscriber yet you can do so at 31% off until 10/31. 🧙♀️ I hope you consider it. You get extra content and subscriber-only threads when you do but also you’re supporting the hundreds of hours it takes per year to research, report, write, edit and market. If you think you could use the extra content but can’t afford it please let me know and I’ll take care of it.
This week’s interview with veterinarian Dr. Goedken got such a strong response that I wanted to share a few of my favorite interviews and Q&As from the last three years if you’re new and want to dig into the archives:
Things you can try to do to so your kid’s not a dick about other people’s weight with Virginia Sole-Smith
If you can get a dad to read a parenting book, try this one by Janet Manley
A word with: 3 stepmoms (vintage Wix witches!)
Put on your oxygen mask first: Getting through the next few months, with some therapists’ input
Where’s your preschooler going to college? Learning from the Varsity Blues scandal, with Nicole LaPorte
Thanks for reading and supporting! Keep it witchy year-round.
~Claire Zulkey
PS- Thank you to the non-parents who reach out and tell me you love the newsletter. That is the perfect endorsement of the “people who happen to be mothers” aspect of this gig.
End credits
Thank you for reading Evil Witches, a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers. If you have topics you’d like to suggest or questions for me to try to crowdsource/research for you please let me know — you can reply right to this email. We live here on Twitter if you ever want to give us a mention or RT. Love ya.