When you're a totally supportive nice person but you don't want to support Laura's pyramid scheme
When O.I.L.S. = Oh, It's Loony Shit.
Q: “How do we turn down MLM offers these days? I just got my 3rd Rodan+Fields offer from the same person. I need a kicker. I mean she is perfectly nice but N.O.”
A:
“I have said, ‘Thanks for thinking of me but I'm not interested—It's just not my thing. I'm happy you found something that works for you and I wish you the best. Good luck!’ If same person follows up with another, then I've said ‘Hey Laura, I'm happy you thought of me but again, this is not something I'm going to be involved with, now or in the future. Good luck!’ Then I cut-and-paste forever and ever and ever if needed.”
“No one ever asks me direct, thank god, but I keep getting added to MLM Facebook groups by my friends. I’m about to just start declining with the immortal Beyonce lyric, “I got expensive fabrics / I got expensive habits.”
“I straight up say ‘I don't do sales parties’ and if it's someone I know/like in real life, I suggest hanging out another time.
“‘What you're doing is bad for women.’” Just kidding, I have no balls.”
“I think ‘I don’t do direct sales’ is ultimately kinder than saying you can’t make it and keeping hope alive for next time. They need to get the message as fast as possible that most people aren’t interested in this shit.
(You can find The Dream, about multi-level marketing schemes here.)
End credits
I hope you enjoyed today’s issue of Evil Witches, a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers. Please pass it along if you know someone who'd like this sort of thing a few times a week. If Evil Witches has made you smile or nod or forward or share, please consider becoming a paying subscriber to support the work:
If you’re interested in writing a guest post, have a suggested topic or have any general questions or you can reply right to this newsletter. You can also follow us and talk to us on Twitter here and follow us on Instagram too.
One witchy thing
Today’s OWT is an excellent example of good witchery in action:
