You'll get out one day
God bless you all, that's all I can say. I thought crate training a puppy was bad...
I feel like a full failure because my kid won’t LET me do the quiet sit in his room thing. After about 5 minutes, he remembers that Mama is his favorite plaything and it becomes “poke mama’s eye” or “run around and giggle” time. He WILL NOT SLEEP. So I gave up and got a child lock for his door that opens in but not out and we let him run around or whatever in his room every right. He doesn’t CRY, he just sings and has dance parties with his stuffies while I sit downstairs and feel like a failure until he eventually passes out on his floor.
I feel this so hard. We had just gotten past this when we went though a period of stress and upheaval, and our son regressed so hard that he not only needed one of us to hold his hand while he fell asleep, it had to be me because daddy was seriously in the doghouse (for three months? because toddlers?) AND if he woke in the middle of the night, I'd have to go in and hold his hand till he fell asleep again. Which could take hoouuurrsssssssss. It took about six months of work to get to where we are now, which is: after lights-out, he lies on the floor with us for three minutes, and then we give him a sandwich hug and put him in bed, and he gets three more minutes with us and a story, and we say goodnight and promise to check on him again in five minutes when we leave. He is always asleep when we come back. He likes rules, so sticking to the ritual and the three minute thing helps a lot. I picked up the "we'll come check on you in five minutes" thing from somewhere and it has worked wonders.
I love all of the sharing, too! My 7yo has drags out bed time, too. I am a mean mom who also happens to go to bed at the same time as my children. I have pretended to be asleep the last few nights when he comes in to stall more, and he just climbs on the bed and gives me a little hug and kiss on the cheek and then goes to bed. I mean, come on. What can you even do with these kids?!
Been there, done that (the sitting/laying w the kids 'til they fall asleep). Somehow I survived. And so did they. They absolutely, positively do not want me sitting/laying w them now. Now that they're teens, I go to bed before they do. You WILL get out one day!
I am deep in the trenches still with my almost 6-year-old. The night-time routine involves me reading a few books (or now a few chapters in whatever book we're reading), then singing Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing over and over and over. A recent addition has been turning on the Calm app with a crackling fire noise while I sing and then saying the routine goodnight things while he continues to listen to the fire and I slip out of the room. It is exhausting. But I cannot deal with the emotions after a long day of work, etc. And I'm never going to say no to reading. So there we are.
We have a standing game night with another couple on Thursdays and so I have to do a protracted bedtime routine. As a compromise, I put him to bed in my bed and magically he goes to sleep immediately! He schemed his way into saying this should be the routine on days that begin with T and now is trying to tell me that any day with the letter T in it should be included! I don't mind so much, but he drools on my pillow :P