This post hit home for me— my husband died from kidney cancer when my girls were 4 and 7. The counseling team affiliated with the cancer center was incredible— they helped us explain so much using correct and age appropriate language. Also, a shout out to campkesem.org— it’s an organization where college students fundraise and plan all year for a FREE week long summer camp for kids as young as 6 who have a parent with cancer. They have chapters all over the country. For us, it was amazing for my girls to meet and be with other kids who had the same new “normal” at home (whether that was losing a parent or mom’s hair falling out).
Amy I am so sorry for your loss. Was your husband a law professor? My favorite law school professor died from kidney cancer about a month before my oldest kid was born in 2017. I attended his funeral but I can’t recall the age of his kids at the time of his death. I know they were very young. Thank you for sharing these resources. My kids’ second cousins are having a hard time navigating the diagnosis of their dad at age 3 and 5 and I will share with my husband’s cousin.
I am glad to hear they are doing well but as usual blown away by the passage of time! I am so thankful for my law school experience, and your husband was a huge part of that for me and all my classmates. Sending love to all your family, thank you again for sharing.
Thank you for these stories and resources! I’ve been looking for something like the bright spot network and am so excited to join on of their support groups. My wife was diagnosed with a rare incurable but hopefully slow growing cancer this summer. Our kids were six months and 2.5. One of the things I didn’t expect to be so hard was the pity people have. I feel like a lifetime movie or something over here. A real life tearjerker. I tried a support group for her type of cancer and everyone was older, venting about how this had upset their retirement plans (which is fine and valid! But not our situation). Our almost three year old this morning told me she had pain in her body all over. I don’t think she does—she’s just trying to process what her mom is going through. It’s so helpful to know we should be emphasizing it’s not her fault. Would not have thought of that.
I'm so sorry you're all going through that but I'm glad you found something helpful here.
This is NOT the same but my friend's son (and my kids' pal) broke his arm recently. Not only did his brother start complaining about *his* arm hurting, but my kids started expressing that their arms hurt as well. Sympathy/jealousy, who can tell?
Gonna out myself as the OG witch who reached out to Claire. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the advice shared here. We have had a long nine months, but my treatment has gone very well and I am thankful to all the people who helped us process this for my son. Also, fuck cancer!
(a word we have since used around him, since he has heard it in conversation)
Thank you for writing in Lizzie and letting me pass on what we learned. I liked reading more than once the witchy input that kids are self-centered and to keep that in mind when talking to them about big illnesses.
I make picture books for kids and am starting to work on one about THIS. It hasn't been officially announced yet, but inspired by a long term illness I had when my kids were young. Main character is a 4 year old who has a mom who is sick and tired a lot of the time, and what that looks like for them and their family.
Sending all the hugs to everyone dealing with this. It is really hard.
We love your books Gaia! My kids are going to be psyched to know I corresponded with the author of Jabari Jumps today. I know your new one will be a lovely resource for parents and kids. <3
This post hit home for me— my husband died from kidney cancer when my girls were 4 and 7. The counseling team affiliated with the cancer center was incredible— they helped us explain so much using correct and age appropriate language. Also, a shout out to campkesem.org— it’s an organization where college students fundraise and plan all year for a FREE week long summer camp for kids as young as 6 who have a parent with cancer. They have chapters all over the country. For us, it was amazing for my girls to meet and be with other kids who had the same new “normal” at home (whether that was losing a parent or mom’s hair falling out).
Amy I am so sorry for your loss. Was your husband a law professor? My favorite law school professor died from kidney cancer about a month before my oldest kid was born in 2017. I attended his funeral but I can’t recall the age of his kids at the time of his death. I know they were very young. Thank you for sharing these resources. My kids’ second cousins are having a hard time navigating the diagnosis of their dad at age 3 and 5 and I will share with my husband’s cousin.
Yes, he was ❤️ and those little girls are now 14 and 12 (and doing well!)
I am glad to hear they are doing well but as usual blown away by the passage of time! I am so thankful for my law school experience, and your husband was a huge part of that for me and all my classmates. Sending love to all your family, thank you again for sharing.
I am so sorry for your family's loss, Amy, but thank you for sharing these resources.
So sorry for your loss
Thank you for these stories and resources! I’ve been looking for something like the bright spot network and am so excited to join on of their support groups. My wife was diagnosed with a rare incurable but hopefully slow growing cancer this summer. Our kids were six months and 2.5. One of the things I didn’t expect to be so hard was the pity people have. I feel like a lifetime movie or something over here. A real life tearjerker. I tried a support group for her type of cancer and everyone was older, venting about how this had upset their retirement plans (which is fine and valid! But not our situation). Our almost three year old this morning told me she had pain in her body all over. I don’t think she does—she’s just trying to process what her mom is going through. It’s so helpful to know we should be emphasizing it’s not her fault. Would not have thought of that.
I'm so sorry you're all going through that but I'm glad you found something helpful here.
This is NOT the same but my friend's son (and my kids' pal) broke his arm recently. Not only did his brother start complaining about *his* arm hurting, but my kids started expressing that their arms hurt as well. Sympathy/jealousy, who can tell?
The pity blows! I enjoy very dark humor and have found it super helpful in this whole cancer thing!
Gonna out myself as the OG witch who reached out to Claire. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the advice shared here. We have had a long nine months, but my treatment has gone very well and I am thankful to all the people who helped us process this for my son. Also, fuck cancer!
(a word we have since used around him, since he has heard it in conversation)
Thank you for writing in Lizzie and letting me pass on what we learned. I liked reading more than once the witchy input that kids are self-centered and to keep that in mind when talking to them about big illnesses.
Thank you for covering such an important topic! Also, top tier gifs today.
thank you! RIP Big Ang.
I make picture books for kids and am starting to work on one about THIS. It hasn't been officially announced yet, but inspired by a long term illness I had when my kids were young. Main character is a 4 year old who has a mom who is sick and tired a lot of the time, and what that looks like for them and their family.
Sending all the hugs to everyone dealing with this. It is really hard.
We love your books Gaia! My kids are going to be psyched to know I corresponded with the author of Jabari Jumps today. I know your new one will be a lovely resource for parents and kids. <3
Ohh Thanks Claire! Tell your kids hi from me:)