Put on your shoe. Put on your other shoe. No, don't do that, put on your shoe.
While this article didn't deal with the social issues of ADHD, I think that might be worth a future article. We had several situations that the school acted quickly and appropriately around bullying, but some times you just had to suck it up and move forward.
Love that we get to talk about this in this space and really value the conversation. As a parent of a child with ADHD (as a piece of a global developmental disability) and as a therapist I wanted to say 2 things
1- it’s been a very stressful 2 years for all of us and kids are no exception so if your kid’s symptoms got “worse” remember this great way of looking at it that one of my colleagues said “anxiety is a bird looking for a branch to land on”. In other words helping kids bring general stress level down and expecting it to take a few stable months before they return to their baseline. For all kids (not just ones with ADHD) the best way to bring stress level down is through predictability, consistency, and routines. For our kids and their parents (happy parents=happy kids)
2 we try to use the language “kid with adhd” vs “adhd kid” because the former makes it something a person deals with vs labeling the person as the issue. Although it’s ok to be a little messy here and I love that about this forum so mess away but wanted to mention it in case it is helpful for anyone.
Love to my fellow witches and happy Thursday 💀
OK but, what is that thing in the underwear ad??
I read all these stories and felt SO SEEN. My son (8, 3rd grade) was diagnosed and started meds about a year ago. Meds help him a LOT at school but he can be a nightmare before they kick in and after they wear off. Complete time blindness makes mornings SO stressful and he's always starving from dinner til bedtime because he won't eat (much) lunch. I hate that he needs meds to survive in the world but I've come to accept the reality. Now, when will they figure out a way to dose it so kiddos can benefit at home, too?
Next level: my husband and I both have ADHD, and neither of us was diagnosed as children, and now we have 3 kids, two of whom have all the same symptoms: time blindness, inattention, trouble following directions, zoning out, zoning out, zoning out, forgetfulness, constantly losing things, trouble organizing tasks/time/things. My son and I also both have intense hyperfocus - which my daughter and husband don't exhibit as much. When any of us are stressed, it's so much worse. I feel like we must have 1,000 guardian angels that kept us from accidentally losing a child or leaving one in a hot car. Last year my doctor prescribed me with adderall b/c I was having so much trouble just day to day not forgetting meetings (even when they were on my calendar, with reminders) and I was leaving the car door open all night, etc., but the adderall was a disaster. I also have anxiety, and I was coiled like a cobra all day until the adderall wore off, and then I'd be depressed. So I stopped taking it, and I just manage the extra work of all of my forgetfulness.
The flip side is this: my husband and I are both very successful professionally, despite being absent-minded to the point of risk and rudeness. And my 2 kids who would truly fare much better in a world without shoes (as they're constantly losing them even when they took them off 4 minutes before, or can't seem to get them on) are also killing it at school: when they're into a topic, they are WAY into it.
The flippiest side is this: It is impossibly difficult for my husband and I to put routines in place to help our ADHD kids because we lack that executive functioning. We are WINGING IT all the time, in such a flappy flappy winging it way, totally on display to other people and other parents how out of control it all is, but... also our kids are loved and usually happy?
I don't have any answers for this. But I appreciate the point in here about not comparing your kids to others', or comparing yourself to other parents. My one child who does not have ADHD is regularly picking up after all of us. She has independently adopted the practice of looping around to the lost-and-found by the elementary school office every day before she leaves school to collect items she recognizes as her brother's or sister's. She plugs in my phone before it loses its charge. She feeds the dog. She finds her brother's and sister's shoes. She gets ready for bed entirely by herself and is the only one of the three children who can clean herself independently and tie her own shoes. She is six.