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FWIW I know divorced moms get a taste of this sometimes when their ex takes the kids but I wonder how often they get to just flat out use the time in a selfish pleasurable way.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

I get a decent number of child/husband free weekends because my MIL lives nearby. I go on long bike rides, clean, and then play my violent video games in the LIVING ROOM like the wild woman I am.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

Similar, but since there is realistically nowhere for my kids to go without me at the moment I just scheduled a night in a hotel for me, all alone, for my birthday. My husband asked if he could come, too, and I think I successfully squelched my initial reaction of wanting to laugh in his face to gently suggest that part of the gift is time ALONE with no responsibilities. There will be nothing to clean, no unfinished tasks staring me in the face, no food to cook. I scheduled dinner with friends, but on the early side so I still get to enjoy the evening alone part, and you better believe I'll be ordering room service breakfast in the morning. Maybe I'll even pack a fancy robe just to wear while eating breakfast. I CANNOT WAIT.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

This is THE BEST Claire. So excited for you. Pregnancy and childbirth and the successive aches should exempt anyone from having to sleep on the ground, ever again. When my boys go camping I stay up late and sleep late, drink ALL the coffee, go for long walks, read books on the sofa with a giant bowl of popcorn, and enjoy the utter silence. Oh, the silence.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

YES to all of this! I just found out I'll be alone on my birthday weekend as hubs is taking the kids to see his family. My kids think I'm sad but those are actually tears of joy.

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I'm in this situation right now! Wife and daughter are camping and I got out of it because I'm too pregnant to sleep on the ground. Plus I have work. It's been amazing. I just slept in till 8am, the latest I have slept in a long long time. And I watched all the shows I like. I'm getting take out tonight!

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I love this line: "I said that two things can be true: That I love them and I love time by myself."

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

yes yes yes and yes! Live it up YOUR way this weekend. I totally feel your euphoric vibe. My husband is taking the kids camping this weekend and I'm heading to LA to see a soul sister friend. I need this so badly that I'm having nightmares that something outlandish will happen (May blizzard in Chicago, my friend gets hospitalized) and I won't be able to go. Also similar to your diamond bracelet "choice" story, but not as kid-related.... This past Christmas, my husband asked my sister if she thought I'd like an Apple Watch. She was like "hell no, she hates tech stuff. A gift of service speaks Paula's love language". My husband now scoops our cat boxes 2x/week and takes the cats to their vet appointments. I couldn't be happier. Not that I don't appreciate an Apple Watch for it's amazing design, it's just that I am not a person who needs to know my heart rate every 2 seconds, or how many steps I take in a day. I already know I take a lot of damn steps every day, because such is life with 2 boys! (And I can't bear to think of the tech gadget landfills so I try to minimize my impact.)

P.S. I completely understand your "cleaning" thing.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

I went on a post-vaccination winery weekend with my best friend of 40 years (we met in nursery school), no twin 4 year olds, no husband, different walls. It was the most rejuvenating thing ever. Sleep in? Yes? Read? Maybe? Take a long, quiet, uninterrupted shower? Twice a day.

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May 27, 2021Liked by Claire Zulkey

My husband and teenage daughter are going to be gone for a week in July for a Habitat for Humanity-style mission trip, so I'm already scheming to send my 5-year-old son off to my mother-in-law's house for a couple of days and take the time off work for myself. I have made past mistakes of trying to cram in too much stuff into my alone time; stayed up way too late and been miserable. Not this time! At least one full day will be spent sitting on a nearby beach in my beach tent with a cooler of snacks and a book that I may or may not read.

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Love your plan, Claire! Especially staying in bed until you goddamn well decide to get up!!!

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I want to know more about edibles and cleaning.

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