Kids and husband tested positive for COVID; I am negative. Home ‘til 10/5. To get by we are relying on capitalism and plastic. My husband ordered this thing from his sickbed a few days ago:
It repeats what you say and “sings” and squeals and shits. It convulses and its long pink neck pulsates and wriggles in a way I find quite upsetting. We can’t stop laughing about it. It really is the moment. What’s one of the dumbest/grossest/funniest/most poignant toys in your house?
I really needed this today. Dying. The part I can't get over is that the food is "reusable." We just successfully took the two human-sized stuffed animals that our childless neighbor gave us early in the pandemic to goodwill. May this one pass through your home like a bout of diarrhea :)
We had a party years before our kiddo was born that we called "Gay Babadook wedding" that involved a bunch of cutout drawings of the Babadook. Our kiddo found them and basically played them to destruction, but we still occasionally find the Babadook lurking in strange corners of the house. 🤣
I'm working so hard not to buy the Turdle. Our most eerie/poginant toy is a house that sings a bunch of indelible horrible songs. As much as I have abhorred its jingles for years, it's not hard to imagine that at some point the mere memory of "It's time to rest, the moon is out/goodnight little bird goodnight" could move me to tears? I need to find a toddler to give this thing to posthaste.
I almost miss this stage, but does it count if my 13 yo's lock screen had a crudely drawn dong? And when he asked, he blushed and said "I PUT MY PHONE DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE AND [friend's name redacted] DREW IT!"?
I have a 98 lb Sulcata Tortoise, a rescue, who lives in my pasture. I could video him taking one of his massive poops and share for comparison's sake? He also farts a lot. It's a shame I do not have little boys.
True story, just yesterday I was talking about iguana poops with a friend.
There is a tortoise in my town who lives outdoors and makes a break for it on the regular. it bothers me because it can't be safe for the tortoise, right?
It isn't safe at all but is a common occurrence with the big guys. Especially the males. We have ours in a quarter acre with a stall and hog fencing and that does the trick but the urge to roam and spread their seeds is strong and a lot of them get run over by cars and/or freeze to death for it.
Ugh, what a bummer of a time! That toy looks hilarious. It's not gross, but we have this random easter egg that says "OVER HERE" in the funniest little voice and it has been roaming around the house for like 4 straight years and it always cracks me up.
That is pretty amazing. Fun to imagine the product concept pitch meeting PowerPoint that you know must have been created. We have these stuffed dogs that roll on the floor and make this odd human laughing noise and are about the funniest, weirdest things I've ever seen. We spotted them and I had to sit down I was laughing so hard. My husband, great man that he is, ordered me two for my birthday that year. It's worth cutting and pasting this link, I swear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkXeYWn4xaY
Our boys (3 & 7) had COVID in August and we basically had a second Christmas. People sent & brought us stuff from every corner of Target and Amazon. However, the most popular item came from our childless neighbors: 100 marbles. They have completely taken over my house. They are in my car, my closet, my purses... Can't escape the tiny glass orbs.
I really needed this today. Dying. The part I can't get over is that the food is "reusable." We just successfully took the two human-sized stuffed animals that our childless neighbor gave us early in the pandemic to goodwill. May this one pass through your home like a bout of diarrhea :)
lol @ that neighbor and their good intentions.
Ha! I was thinking of getting this turdle as payback for a human-sized stuffy our then childless family member gave to us. Is that mean? Or justice?
This twerking llama that sings “Goin Down for Real”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0793K7P9K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_HWEKNNF6VNGB14DFKHMZ
The family that twerks together stays together.
SCREAMING. The reviews are great.
It is so fucking dumb and fun. Guaranteed to cure all bad moods.
We had a party years before our kiddo was born that we called "Gay Babadook wedding" that involved a bunch of cutout drawings of the Babadook. Our kiddo found them and basically played them to destruction, but we still occasionally find the Babadook lurking in strange corners of the house. 🤣
Those will make great table # holders at your kid's future wedding.
I'm working so hard not to buy the Turdle. Our most eerie/poginant toy is a house that sings a bunch of indelible horrible songs. As much as I have abhorred its jingles for years, it's not hard to imagine that at some point the mere memory of "It's time to rest, the moon is out/goodnight little bird goodnight" could move me to tears? I need to find a toddler to give this thing to posthaste.
don't let that house trick you into getting pregnant again. Throw it away just to be safe.
I almost miss this stage, but does it count if my 13 yo's lock screen had a crudely drawn dong? And when he asked, he blushed and said "I PUT MY PHONE DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE AND [friend's name redacted] DREW IT!"?
hahaha suuuure, blame it on [friend]
I am ashamed that it took me a full 24 hours to get the "turdle" pun.
I bet it was worth the wait.
I don’t know but I love this newsletter.
I have a 98 lb Sulcata Tortoise, a rescue, who lives in my pasture. I could video him taking one of his massive poops and share for comparison's sake? He also farts a lot. It's a shame I do not have little boys.
True story, just yesterday I was talking about iguana poops with a friend.
There is a tortoise in my town who lives outdoors and makes a break for it on the regular. it bothers me because it can't be safe for the tortoise, right?
It isn't safe at all but is a common occurrence with the big guys. Especially the males. We have ours in a quarter acre with a stall and hog fencing and that does the trick but the urge to roam and spread their seeds is strong and a lot of them get run over by cars and/or freeze to death for it.
Ugh, what a bummer of a time! That toy looks hilarious. It's not gross, but we have this random easter egg that says "OVER HERE" in the funniest little voice and it has been roaming around the house for like 4 straight years and it always cracks me up.
That makes me laugh too. How perfectly random and cute.
Did your husband order this for him, you, or the kids?
I mean I think he ordered it for the world.
We have. a spider plushies name Peter Parker.
That is pretty amazing. Fun to imagine the product concept pitch meeting PowerPoint that you know must have been created. We have these stuffed dogs that roll on the floor and make this odd human laughing noise and are about the funniest, weirdest things I've ever seen. We spotted them and I had to sit down I was laughing so hard. My husband, great man that he is, ordered me two for my birthday that year. It's worth cutting and pasting this link, I swear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkXeYWn4xaY
oh my god. Two is perfect because then you can have them go at the same time.
Yes! They are just so completely unhinged it somehow is funny and makes me feel better about my life choices at the same time.
Bonus points if you have dogs and can watch their completely confused reactions to this thing
Our boys (3 & 7) had COVID in August and we basically had a second Christmas. People sent & brought us stuff from every corner of Target and Amazon. However, the most popular item came from our childless neighbors: 100 marbles. They have completely taken over my house. They are in my car, my closet, my purses... Can't escape the tiny glass orbs.
No, CW!!! I'm so sorry.
One of the best "toys" we ever got was just a huge box of Fla Vor Ice. We used that shit up.