I’m going to the beach twice today, even though it’s going to be in the 90’s and it’s blazingly sunny. This wouldn’t happen if I hadn’t gotten my Sport-Brella*.
This summer, my main goal was to be more comfortable when I went to the beach, and after exhaustive research (i.e. reading this), I decided this tent/umbrella hybrid was for me since it seemed easy to set up—and it is! Also, it packs up skinny and light (just like me [lol.])
It is very satisfying when you have high hopes that a thing might improve your life in some marginal way, and it does. Especially someplace like the beach, which can be a huge pain when it’s uncomfortable or the best time ever when all goes well. Summer goal: achieved.
What was one thing that made your summer 2023 a little more fun or memorable? It doesn’t have to be a product: experiences and achievements and recipes are good too.
Not a product, but my kid finally being a good enough swimmer to go into the water by himself while I read in the shade. I mean, I guess swim lessons are a product, so I give those five stars.
I've been trying out different approaches with my almost 9-year-old, who was recently diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD. I've figured out that a lot of tension with her arises from a misalignment of expectations - sometimes she has invented an amazingly fun weekend in her head that we know nothing of and that does not match reality in any way; other times she hears a "maybe I don't know" as a "yes" and then when it's not in fact happening, she views it as us lying to her, which, I've learned through many conversations, means we don't care about or love her. Sigh.
One of the solves that's helpful the most: a whiteboard family calendar on the fridge and another whiteboard space where we make lists. At the start of the summer, I had her write down her wish list of things to do this summer (eg, beach, bike, ride a pony, zoo, see bunnies and chickens at this cool play garden) and I added 1-2 things I wanted to do too. And, much to my amazement, we actually fucking did them! Haha.
I think it helped her to take a longer view. Like, we're not going to do beach and zoo in the same day but we probably could in the same month. It also helped me slot in things she really wanted to do and use those things for some 1:1 time with me (sans her little sister).
I used the calendar to help her see what camp was happening each week and which parent was doing dropoff and pickup (also a big source of conflict) and what weekend activities we had planned.
It all takes a lot of proactive planning and coaching on my part, which I've got plenty of resentment for, but it takes way less effort and energy than dealing with constant meltdowns, so I think it's a win!
Realizing as I write this that I should have her make a fall wish list too to help with the transition out of summer and into school.
Oh, one more as this is helping me remember my hard-fought wins! I've had her give a star rating for each camp she's done and we keep a running list with that. At the start of each one, I've said, "Give it a try. If you don't like it, give it 0 stars at the end of the week and then we won't sign up for it again." Everything is has gotten 3 or 5 stars!
I buy very fancy temp tattoos once or twice a year during sale events and I bring them to parties and give them to children and they think I'm HOT SHIT
Lime green patio umbrella. We’ve always had black or taupe, the most neutral of blah. This spring I went with lime green. Every day I see it. It makes me happy. (Btw no one in my family has mentioned it. So it might also be invisible.)
Sending both my kids to overnight summer camp at the same time. It’s the first year and wow. I feel grateful we could make it happen and have 10 days of quiet and a recharge. Next summer will be 21 days!!!
Sticking with the beach theme.. a shaker full of cornstarch. Shake cornstarch onto sandy feet and watch the sand fall off like magic! And biodegradable. Used to use baby powder for this but talcum is a no-go nowdays… is a beach game changer.
Also can I add Solar Buddies refillable sunscreen applicators- they now do sunscreen themselves! Happily with no complaining and I buy one giant thing of consumer reports recommended Walmart sunscreen bottle to last a whole summer and we just refill.
Zola, who headed off to her freshmen year in college this past week. And Leila, who spent her summer at a NYC internship, before also heading out this past week for a semester abroad.
Likely the last time when I have both kids in the same city at the same time, for sure.
Period panties and period swimsuit. I hate the logistics of menstruation, more so in the summer, so to just be able to wear these and be free has revolutionized my entire relationship to my nether regions lol
Our simple two level Little Tikes water table has been beyond amazing for us this summer. My almost 3 year old really enjoys spending his time pouring, filling, doing all kinds of things while I sit and read, stare off into space, or simply feel a moment of relaxation and quiet. I LOVE it! Add a spray bottle, some old cups, acorns, and other oddities that he finds and he will be set. We put it by the hose which is also a shady spot. It is perfect.
It was definitely escaping for one night to see Beyoncé, the greatest artist of our time. It was definitely not ending the summer hosting my MIL. Why oh why
Telling myself to just trust that it will be ok. We did a lot of climbing courses and ziplines. I just assumed it was all safe and that I'd be fine. And I was.
My vitamix (which I have had a long time, but just started keeping on the counter.) I've been having a frozen watermelon smoothie basically every day (there is always watermelon, it is a major food group for my toddler) and it is delicious and refreshing and easy.
I made a bunch of variations on this smashed chickpea salad this summer, and had it for lunch on a sandwich easily like 3-4 times a week. Loved having a quick, yummy, reasonably wholesome, shelf-stable and vegetarian lunch staple this summer: https://smittenkitchen.com/2009/01/smashed-chickpea-salad/
We had an absolute shit summer, but the things that made it bearable were springing for the pool pass even though paying per visit was cheaper (somehow, it psyched me into wanting to go as much as possible), and the outdoor furniture I got for the porch when we moved in. It’s out of stock, but maybe it’ll turn up somewhere else. It’s small enough to fit and large enough to be functional, and I love it so much (especially when my family is VERY LOUD and I want to lie on a couch and read in silence):
Not really a summer product, but I bought one of those mini dash pancake makers and it’s made breakfast for my toddler significantly better. No sizzling stovetop. Etc. Plus it’s less watching it. Writing this makes me feel so boring but literally every day I’m like “this was a good purchase!”
Cancer surgery last fall threw me into surgical menopause and hot flashes.
Living in an area with horrible humidity in the summer means I had to figure out how to dress for HOT humid weather.
Being child-free, I had no idea the glory of maternity clothes. Those people know how to dress hormonal people lol.
Maternity underwear, maternity shorts, and this maternity dress have given me a new outlook on life. (i have no affiliation with Storq, I just love their dresses).
1. Tegus and PlusPluses for airplanes. Tegus ya gotta keep track of but you can leave a trail of PlusPluses on your journey and still arrive with plenty.
2. Bowl of cold pasta + 6 ish toppings + dressing. Everyone makes their own bowl. One kid eats only pasta and black olives but one now eats radishes.
3. Camp. Kids first time at any camps (camps weren't a thing where I'm from so unsure what to expect)and everyone had all around positive experiences. We qualified for free camp here in SF so that may be heavily clouding my judgement. About 4 weeks total. The soccer camp asked for one of my twins to come back for a second week.
4. All the stuff about not actually being in the water with your kids.!!!
5. Rompers for adults and kids. Really simplifies packing. We have terry cloth ones with zippers.
I sent my rising HS senior (gulp) to a 2-week ethical leadership program in Costa Rica (NO PHONES THE ENTIRE TIME) and a 2-week pre-college program at Syracuse U (she had her phone but barely used it bc she was busy having fun/living her life). It was expensive AF and I spent a lot of my summer to-ing/fro-ing and doing last-minute supply runs... but she had the most excellent summer and finally *met her people* at Syracuse, which bodes so well for things to come. It was also a very good preview for me of what empty nesting as a single mom may be like.... Mostly great! A little sad! Also the dog gets a lot more attention!
Deciding for myself that the two nights I cook dinner would be 1) sandwich night and 2) salad night. Somehow this made choosing what to make on each night much more simple! I don’t think anyone else even noticed. Well, no complaints anyway. Evolving for fall - I’m thinking soup and grain bowl maybe? Anything that makes “what’s for a dinner” less annoying.
One other thing we did that truly improved our summer specifically was install what I call “rich lady blinds” that can be programmed and block light and UV and then blackout curtains in our bedroom and toddlers room. Wow. Huge quality of life improvement. They were expensive as hell but I’ll do it every place I live now just for the hours of additional sleep and how much cooler it is!
Electrolytes!! Specifically the unusually salty LMNT electrolyte powder my crossfit husband had. I never understood why no matter how much I hydrated I always felt shitty. It’s the electrolytes!!
My sister-in-law gifted me one of those ubiquitous, giant Stanley cups that keep drinks cold for 48 hours. I never would have purchased it myself but I’m kind of obsessed with it. It was so needed when the “real feel” temp was 117 degrees in Chicago recently!
Also, I threw myself a birthday party for the first time in 15 years and it was everything I wanted it to be. Why should kids have all the bday party fun?
I did nor get it, but I actually used it: a flash ice tea maker. Brew tea in it. Fill it the rest of the way up with ice and shake it. It is great!! Especially fond of strawberry peach rooibos from Queen Mary tea in Seattle.
Also, I closed my business (that was not making money) and got my life back (or that is how it feels). So good quitting.
I had some good, big things, but my one recommendation is:
Play hooky from work and go to the movies. It's air conditioned, there are snacks, you have whatever kind of childcare you need lined up, you can go with a friend or partner or alone.
After an exhausting and complicated fertility journey and pregnancy for my 2nd, I got over my shit enough to have a scheduled cesarean, supported by wonderful advice of witches here. Still in recovery land but already, as one piece of advice said: 10/10 recommend! My baby's pretty cute too 🤪
Just got back from a staycation (only went 1.5 hours away) with my husband and 3 year old, and it was a joy! We've traveled a fair amount, but always with or to see family or friends. Getting to only do what we wanted to do (and not having to please anyone else) was magic. Stilll tiring, but magic.
I went to see Taylor Swift in Denver (night two!) with a dear girlfriend of mine. We rode her eBike to the stadium and felt every feeling under the sun and screamed and danced and cried and sang and traded friendship bracelets and ate bar pizza after at 1am. It was a pure joy I have never experienced before.
After moving to a town with no town pool, we joined the country club for the summer. I wrung my hands for a while about not really being "country club people" but I needn't have - it was not at all fussy and was honestly the source of our easiest, happiest summer days. Two lifeguards on duty plus kids who can mostly swim now, like without me being in the water with them, was absolutely a win. But the truly game-changing aspect: an onsite restaurant in the "clubhouse" (sounds fancy, actually musty and kind of elevated dive-bar-y) with - here's the life changing aspect - college kids working as waiters, hustling around the pool taking outdoor orders on ipads, from your lounge chair. The ability to just summon chicken tenders, fries, lemonade, beer, and whatever else, without having to get anybody out of the pool/up from their towel/shod/etc? absolutely priceless. Actually not priceless - but the summer membership cost less than the summer/pool membership at the local gym, and the clubhouse food was about the same cost as hitting a drive thru, so - not priceless, but well worth the cost.
So the biggest thing that made my summer a wee bit easier was deciding that each of the four of us gets to choose their favorite dinner one night a week, and then we have leftovers, takeout, and snack plate on the other three nights. I only have to choose what I want! It sort of kind of ensures that some of them will eat something at least once a week! I thought we’d just try it out for summer, but no, this is forever.
Grandma living in a complex with a pool has turned out to be a big late summer bonus. Kid gets tired swimming, mom and grandma do lunch while kid gets tablet time, and SAHD husband gets a nap and time to himself (which is precious as the kid is currently in half day kindergarten).
I think I've been letting go of most expectations for most people to do things like be on time or even show up to something they said they would do. Or even to be sane at all, given that my closest aunt's dementia has gotten profoundly worse this year, my uncle is losing it trying to take care of her, and also my dad is losing his short term memory. If people are merely taking care of themselves, I'm impressed and happy for them. They don't need to do anything else. My new perspective has helped me let go of unnecessary annoyance and social stress, which is good for summer. Here's when I used it: A friend family was supposed to come to the beach this summer and we'd asked them months in advance and I kept checking in each month and each time they said they were so excited. But they'd canceled on trips last-minute before and I had to somehow remain friends with them because I love them even though I find this sort of cancellation appalling especially when kids are involved. Anyway, I had a feeling they would cancel, and my premonition helped me but my new perspective also helped me when the inevitable happened about three days before the trip. First, I had prepared and invited other people at strategic times. There was still a bit of a gap for my extroverted child so when the cancellation happened (we happened to be in public), I turned to the next friend who was there and asked if they wanted to come instead. It wasn't a panic move -- I just realized at the time that a) other people's chaos is not about me b) there are plenty of friends c) whatever is fine; it's vacation, not graduate school. I could even sit there at the pool and have fun with the canceling friend without feeling resentful, in the moment that it happened, and also summon up the empathy to just accept that their planning skills probably caused them more stress than I could tell but, again, it wasn't about me. It's their life. This new perspective gives me more peace than how I would have operated a few years ago.
Joined a pool. Resisted for a bit due to cost but it was so worth it this summer. Especially those evenings when you need to get out of the house for just a few hours. Tired kids - perfect.
I loved reading everyone's comments in this thread! Also jealous of those with independent kid swimmers, because my summer involved a lot of stressing over my non-swimming kids being in and around the pool. One even fell in the deep end reaching for a ball, so that was fun to see one of my biggest fears play out in real-time (he's fine... I'm traumatized).
One thing that made my summer more fun––a night away with my husband, sister, and brother-in-law to a small theatre town to see Rent (the musical), eat good meals, and sleep in a hotel. Need to remember to do things like that more often.
Two of this style of picnic blanket which we have used since the outside all the time summer of 2020 and take everywhere: https://posh.mk/TEQbSXXqPCb
Also our new tent which my inside preferring husband agreed to go camping in not one but three times and having those trips booked out once a month through the summer so we actually got out and did stuff
Continuing with the beach theme...I got an anchor. It sounds so silly but a day in a tube away from the edge of the water but not floating away while my kids collected shells and my husband sat under our sunshade with the dog was perfection.
A sampling of one-week day camps for my kiddo and one week of overnight camp. He got a try a few different things and has a couple he really wants to do next year (including overnight - hooray!)
We also did a lot of regional road trips, which is less stress these days than flying somewhere.
This was a hard summer - my first bout with COVID and then my first attack of kidney stones (and a surgery that kicked my butt). It all meant that I extra-loved the little bit of attention we put into our backyard - we added some greenery to our low-maintenance yard (inspired by Anne Helen Peterson’s garden newsletter on native plants) AND we bought a couch/swing thing at the end-of-summer sale that is my new favorite place. I’ll go out and have coffee there in the morning, I’ll sit there in the evening while my husband grills dinner. It’s the best - something about the swinging motion is SO relaxing. And it was on sale! It’s not this exactly but close… https://www.farmstore.com/product/backyard-expressions-three-seater-patio-swing-with-canopy-909726/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsRngn-aq83KHZluwVoocHNFNxHN7dz2tQVmuEc7axFrOQFZpikqlwaAkRLEALw_wcB
Super simple and yet a game changer: a sling for my water bottle. Changed everything about traveling. I'm a Yeti queen but they come in all sizes for all makes and models
A new (bigger) tent and air mattress for my husband and me. We squished our family into a tiny tent with old camping pads for so many years that it felt like absolute luxury to not wake up sore from head to toe!
Open thread: What's something that made your summer better?
Not a product, but my kid finally being a good enough swimmer to go into the water by himself while I read in the shade. I mean, I guess swim lessons are a product, so I give those five stars.
My kid is wiping his own butt mostly successfully. {Takes bow.}
I've been trying out different approaches with my almost 9-year-old, who was recently diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD. I've figured out that a lot of tension with her arises from a misalignment of expectations - sometimes she has invented an amazingly fun weekend in her head that we know nothing of and that does not match reality in any way; other times she hears a "maybe I don't know" as a "yes" and then when it's not in fact happening, she views it as us lying to her, which, I've learned through many conversations, means we don't care about or love her. Sigh.
One of the solves that's helpful the most: a whiteboard family calendar on the fridge and another whiteboard space where we make lists. At the start of the summer, I had her write down her wish list of things to do this summer (eg, beach, bike, ride a pony, zoo, see bunnies and chickens at this cool play garden) and I added 1-2 things I wanted to do too. And, much to my amazement, we actually fucking did them! Haha.
I think it helped her to take a longer view. Like, we're not going to do beach and zoo in the same day but we probably could in the same month. It also helped me slot in things she really wanted to do and use those things for some 1:1 time with me (sans her little sister).
I used the calendar to help her see what camp was happening each week and which parent was doing dropoff and pickup (also a big source of conflict) and what weekend activities we had planned.
It all takes a lot of proactive planning and coaching on my part, which I've got plenty of resentment for, but it takes way less effort and energy than dealing with constant meltdowns, so I think it's a win!
Realizing as I write this that I should have her make a fall wish list too to help with the transition out of summer and into school.
Oh, one more as this is helping me remember my hard-fought wins! I've had her give a star rating for each camp she's done and we keep a running list with that. At the start of each one, I've said, "Give it a try. If you don't like it, give it 0 stars at the end of the week and then we won't sign up for it again." Everything is has gotten 3 or 5 stars!
I buy very fancy temp tattoos once or twice a year during sale events and I bring them to parties and give them to children and they think I'm HOT SHIT
Lime green patio umbrella. We’ve always had black or taupe, the most neutral of blah. This spring I went with lime green. Every day I see it. It makes me happy. (Btw no one in my family has mentioned it. So it might also be invisible.)
Sending both my kids to overnight summer camp at the same time. It’s the first year and wow. I feel grateful we could make it happen and have 10 days of quiet and a recharge. Next summer will be 21 days!!!
Sticking with the beach theme.. a shaker full of cornstarch. Shake cornstarch onto sandy feet and watch the sand fall off like magic! And biodegradable. Used to use baby powder for this but talcum is a no-go nowdays… is a beach game changer.
Also can I add Solar Buddies refillable sunscreen applicators- they now do sunscreen themselves! Happily with no complaining and I buy one giant thing of consumer reports recommended Walmart sunscreen bottle to last a whole summer and we just refill.
My daughters.
Zola, who headed off to her freshmen year in college this past week. And Leila, who spent her summer at a NYC internship, before also heading out this past week for a semester abroad.
Likely the last time when I have both kids in the same city at the same time, for sure.
Period panties and period swimsuit. I hate the logistics of menstruation, more so in the summer, so to just be able to wear these and be free has revolutionized my entire relationship to my nether regions lol
Our simple two level Little Tikes water table has been beyond amazing for us this summer. My almost 3 year old really enjoys spending his time pouring, filling, doing all kinds of things while I sit and read, stare off into space, or simply feel a moment of relaxation and quiet. I LOVE it! Add a spray bottle, some old cups, acorns, and other oddities that he finds and he will be set. We put it by the hose which is also a shady spot. It is perfect.
It was definitely escaping for one night to see Beyoncé, the greatest artist of our time. It was definitely not ending the summer hosting my MIL. Why oh why
Telling myself to just trust that it will be ok. We did a lot of climbing courses and ziplines. I just assumed it was all safe and that I'd be fine. And I was.
My vitamix (which I have had a long time, but just started keeping on the counter.) I've been having a frozen watermelon smoothie basically every day (there is always watermelon, it is a major food group for my toddler) and it is delicious and refreshing and easy.
I made a bunch of variations on this smashed chickpea salad this summer, and had it for lunch on a sandwich easily like 3-4 times a week. Loved having a quick, yummy, reasonably wholesome, shelf-stable and vegetarian lunch staple this summer: https://smittenkitchen.com/2009/01/smashed-chickpea-salad/
We had an absolute shit summer, but the things that made it bearable were springing for the pool pass even though paying per visit was cheaper (somehow, it psyched me into wanting to go as much as possible), and the outdoor furniture I got for the porch when we moved in. It’s out of stock, but maybe it’ll turn up somewhere else. It’s small enough to fit and large enough to be functional, and I love it so much (especially when my family is VERY LOUD and I want to lie on a couch and read in silence):
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Better-Homes-Gardens-Bryde-Sectional-Sofa-and-Loveseat-Low-Seating-Patio-Set-3-Pieces/266679597
Not really a summer product, but I bought one of those mini dash pancake makers and it’s made breakfast for my toddler significantly better. No sizzling stovetop. Etc. Plus it’s less watching it. Writing this makes me feel so boring but literally every day I’m like “this was a good purchase!”
Cancer surgery last fall threw me into surgical menopause and hot flashes.
Living in an area with horrible humidity in the summer means I had to figure out how to dress for HOT humid weather.
Being child-free, I had no idea the glory of maternity clothes. Those people know how to dress hormonal people lol.
Maternity underwear, maternity shorts, and this maternity dress have given me a new outlook on life. (i have no affiliation with Storq, I just love their dresses).
https://storq.com/products/maternity-caftan-dress
RAYON is my new best friend.
Also: paper fans.
1. Tegus and PlusPluses for airplanes. Tegus ya gotta keep track of but you can leave a trail of PlusPluses on your journey and still arrive with plenty.
2. Bowl of cold pasta + 6 ish toppings + dressing. Everyone makes their own bowl. One kid eats only pasta and black olives but one now eats radishes.
3. Camp. Kids first time at any camps (camps weren't a thing where I'm from so unsure what to expect)and everyone had all around positive experiences. We qualified for free camp here in SF so that may be heavily clouding my judgement. About 4 weeks total. The soccer camp asked for one of my twins to come back for a second week.
4. All the stuff about not actually being in the water with your kids.!!!
5. Rompers for adults and kids. Really simplifies packing. We have terry cloth ones with zippers.
Goggles with a bungee strap, like these!! https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B081ZW9KY8/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_plhdr=t&aaxitk=adb6996fbf73aea3b9b610663e4173a7&hsa_cr_id=4620687420801&qid=1693853676&sr=1-2-3c6b3b04-89d4-46ee-857c-1e2f0de6a70e&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_lsi2m_asin_1_rating&pd_rd_w=JW8r2&content-id=amzn1.sym.2a7ca7f7-ae4b-4de2-8864-98b982a78a47%3Aamzn1.sym.2a7ca7f7-ae4b-4de2-8864-98b982a78a47&pf_rd_p=2a7ca7f7-ae4b-4de2-8864-98b982a78a47&pf_rd_r=TCVAADX4FS2TWPX08AME&pd_rd_wg=naReT&pd_rd_r=e79b48ed-9958-4322-8aba-8cab2f289ff8#customerReviews
I sent my rising HS senior (gulp) to a 2-week ethical leadership program in Costa Rica (NO PHONES THE ENTIRE TIME) and a 2-week pre-college program at Syracuse U (she had her phone but barely used it bc she was busy having fun/living her life). It was expensive AF and I spent a lot of my summer to-ing/fro-ing and doing last-minute supply runs... but she had the most excellent summer and finally *met her people* at Syracuse, which bodes so well for things to come. It was also a very good preview for me of what empty nesting as a single mom may be like.... Mostly great! A little sad! Also the dog gets a lot more attention!
Deciding for myself that the two nights I cook dinner would be 1) sandwich night and 2) salad night. Somehow this made choosing what to make on each night much more simple! I don’t think anyone else even noticed. Well, no complaints anyway. Evolving for fall - I’m thinking soup and grain bowl maybe? Anything that makes “what’s for a dinner” less annoying.
One other thing we did that truly improved our summer specifically was install what I call “rich lady blinds” that can be programmed and block light and UV and then blackout curtains in our bedroom and toddlers room. Wow. Huge quality of life improvement. They were expensive as hell but I’ll do it every place I live now just for the hours of additional sleep and how much cooler it is!
Electrolytes!! Specifically the unusually salty LMNT electrolyte powder my crossfit husband had. I never understood why no matter how much I hydrated I always felt shitty. It’s the electrolytes!!
My sister-in-law gifted me one of those ubiquitous, giant Stanley cups that keep drinks cold for 48 hours. I never would have purchased it myself but I’m kind of obsessed with it. It was so needed when the “real feel” temp was 117 degrees in Chicago recently!
Also, I threw myself a birthday party for the first time in 15 years and it was everything I wanted it to be. Why should kids have all the bday party fun?
I did nor get it, but I actually used it: a flash ice tea maker. Brew tea in it. Fill it the rest of the way up with ice and shake it. It is great!! Especially fond of strawberry peach rooibos from Queen Mary tea in Seattle.
Also, I closed my business (that was not making money) and got my life back (or that is how it feels). So good quitting.
I had some good, big things, but my one recommendation is:
Play hooky from work and go to the movies. It's air conditioned, there are snacks, you have whatever kind of childcare you need lined up, you can go with a friend or partner or alone.
I did it three times this year!
After an exhausting and complicated fertility journey and pregnancy for my 2nd, I got over my shit enough to have a scheduled cesarean, supported by wonderful advice of witches here. Still in recovery land but already, as one piece of advice said: 10/10 recommend! My baby's pretty cute too 🤪
Just got back from a staycation (only went 1.5 hours away) with my husband and 3 year old, and it was a joy! We've traveled a fair amount, but always with or to see family or friends. Getting to only do what we wanted to do (and not having to please anyone else) was magic. Stilll tiring, but magic.
I went to see Taylor Swift in Denver (night two!) with a dear girlfriend of mine. We rode her eBike to the stadium and felt every feeling under the sun and screamed and danced and cried and sang and traded friendship bracelets and ate bar pizza after at 1am. It was a pure joy I have never experienced before.
After moving to a town with no town pool, we joined the country club for the summer. I wrung my hands for a while about not really being "country club people" but I needn't have - it was not at all fussy and was honestly the source of our easiest, happiest summer days. Two lifeguards on duty plus kids who can mostly swim now, like without me being in the water with them, was absolutely a win. But the truly game-changing aspect: an onsite restaurant in the "clubhouse" (sounds fancy, actually musty and kind of elevated dive-bar-y) with - here's the life changing aspect - college kids working as waiters, hustling around the pool taking outdoor orders on ipads, from your lounge chair. The ability to just summon chicken tenders, fries, lemonade, beer, and whatever else, without having to get anybody out of the pool/up from their towel/shod/etc? absolutely priceless. Actually not priceless - but the summer membership cost less than the summer/pool membership at the local gym, and the clubhouse food was about the same cost as hitting a drive thru, so - not priceless, but well worth the cost.
So the biggest thing that made my summer a wee bit easier was deciding that each of the four of us gets to choose their favorite dinner one night a week, and then we have leftovers, takeout, and snack plate on the other three nights. I only have to choose what I want! It sort of kind of ensures that some of them will eat something at least once a week! I thought we’d just try it out for summer, but no, this is forever.
Grandma living in a complex with a pool has turned out to be a big late summer bonus. Kid gets tired swimming, mom and grandma do lunch while kid gets tablet time, and SAHD husband gets a nap and time to himself (which is precious as the kid is currently in half day kindergarten).
I think I've been letting go of most expectations for most people to do things like be on time or even show up to something they said they would do. Or even to be sane at all, given that my closest aunt's dementia has gotten profoundly worse this year, my uncle is losing it trying to take care of her, and also my dad is losing his short term memory. If people are merely taking care of themselves, I'm impressed and happy for them. They don't need to do anything else. My new perspective has helped me let go of unnecessary annoyance and social stress, which is good for summer. Here's when I used it: A friend family was supposed to come to the beach this summer and we'd asked them months in advance and I kept checking in each month and each time they said they were so excited. But they'd canceled on trips last-minute before and I had to somehow remain friends with them because I love them even though I find this sort of cancellation appalling especially when kids are involved. Anyway, I had a feeling they would cancel, and my premonition helped me but my new perspective also helped me when the inevitable happened about three days before the trip. First, I had prepared and invited other people at strategic times. There was still a bit of a gap for my extroverted child so when the cancellation happened (we happened to be in public), I turned to the next friend who was there and asked if they wanted to come instead. It wasn't a panic move -- I just realized at the time that a) other people's chaos is not about me b) there are plenty of friends c) whatever is fine; it's vacation, not graduate school. I could even sit there at the pool and have fun with the canceling friend without feeling resentful, in the moment that it happened, and also summon up the empathy to just accept that their planning skills probably caused them more stress than I could tell but, again, it wasn't about me. It's their life. This new perspective gives me more peace than how I would have operated a few years ago.
Joined a pool. Resisted for a bit due to cost but it was so worth it this summer. Especially those evenings when you need to get out of the house for just a few hours. Tired kids - perfect.
I loved reading everyone's comments in this thread! Also jealous of those with independent kid swimmers, because my summer involved a lot of stressing over my non-swimming kids being in and around the pool. One even fell in the deep end reaching for a ball, so that was fun to see one of my biggest fears play out in real-time (he's fine... I'm traumatized).
One thing that made my summer more fun––a night away with my husband, sister, and brother-in-law to a small theatre town to see Rent (the musical), eat good meals, and sleep in a hotel. Need to remember to do things like that more often.
Two of this style of picnic blanket which we have used since the outside all the time summer of 2020 and take everywhere: https://posh.mk/TEQbSXXqPCb
Also our new tent which my inside preferring husband agreed to go camping in not one but three times and having those trips booked out once a month through the summer so we actually got out and did stuff
Continuing with the beach theme...I got an anchor. It sounds so silly but a day in a tube away from the edge of the water but not floating away while my kids collected shells and my husband sat under our sunshade with the dog was perfection.
A sampling of one-week day camps for my kiddo and one week of overnight camp. He got a try a few different things and has a couple he really wants to do next year (including overnight - hooray!)
We also did a lot of regional road trips, which is less stress these days than flying somewhere.
This was a hard summer - my first bout with COVID and then my first attack of kidney stones (and a surgery that kicked my butt). It all meant that I extra-loved the little bit of attention we put into our backyard - we added some greenery to our low-maintenance yard (inspired by Anne Helen Peterson’s garden newsletter on native plants) AND we bought a couch/swing thing at the end-of-summer sale that is my new favorite place. I’ll go out and have coffee there in the morning, I’ll sit there in the evening while my husband grills dinner. It’s the best - something about the swinging motion is SO relaxing. And it was on sale! It’s not this exactly but close… https://www.farmstore.com/product/backyard-expressions-three-seater-patio-swing-with-canopy-909726/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsRngn-aq83KHZluwVoocHNFNxHN7dz2tQVmuEc7axFrOQFZpikqlwaAkRLEALw_wcB
Super simple and yet a game changer: a sling for my water bottle. Changed everything about traveling. I'm a Yeti queen but they come in all sizes for all makes and models
A new (bigger) tent and air mattress for my husband and me. We squished our family into a tiny tent with old camping pads for so many years that it felt like absolute luxury to not wake up sore from head to toe!