I am a bit mid-career but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have that fight in me.
I'm proud to say that this morning, I got a gold in my parenting Olympics event: dramatically dropping a handful of clean dishes to prove a point to a 9-year-old asking me to get last night’s tater tots out of the fridge to heat up for him — while I was in the middle of emptying the dishwasher and making him toast that he had also requested (three tasks, so, a triathlon).
The judging criteria were based on how many dishes I broke (zero) and how long it took my son to start apologizing when he realized he should have waited to ask me for another thing (not long).
It’s just an honor to represent my country! How have you been doing in your events?
In an upset victory I beat my husband in sleeping though kids coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night last night. Bow down to me suckas because I just beat the GOAT in sleeping through stuff.
Hi five. Me too. I think my husband has a reputation of being the nicer person in the middle of the night. In other words he doesn’t have the eye of the tiger.
Does this count? This summer I agreed to pay my teen son extra allowance to clean the kitchen after dinner each night. He does a better job than his father & he even lights a scented candle when he's cleaning. Best $5/week EVER.
This is literally how I made money as a tween and I still fondly remember feeling like I had scammed my parents out of their money. Now I realize just how much of a deal they were getting. 😂
I am awarding a medal to the 20 year old kid who handles the entrance of my local swimming pool !
The pool is free for kids 3 years old or under, with a discount price for ages 4-12, and full price afterwards. We literally go every other day (heatwave in Europe), and I used to say : one adult entrance and one kid entrance for my child, he's 4. EVERY time he looked me dead in the eye and asked : what age is the child ? *pointed look*
Took me 3 times to understand he was suggesting I blatantly lie to him ahahah (and that he was hearing me perfectly fine the first time). Now I just say : one adult entrance and one free entrance for my kid who is 3 *pointed look*. He smiles and I save 2.4 euros each time. Not all heroes wear capes !!!
I passed off the Olympic Torch of cleaning the kitchen to my two ungrateful sons and was rewarded with slamming drawers and loud sighs to my infinite amusement.
Not sure if I'm in medal contention, but I've definitely achieved a personal best score in Patching Together Things for Kids to Do at the end of the summer when I have no camps or organized activities planned. I've managed to schedule key grandparent participation, find a new nearby park pool and bike park that everyone enjoys, and start discussions around a number of strategic playdates during times that I need to work. Beautiful performance all around.
I should say we are still in the qualifying round here - we'll see where things end up in the finals when I have to actually work during these unscheduled weeks. That's really when champions are made.
Despite my best efforts I came in last place in cutting my 2 year old's bangs. Sadly I really over-estimated my skills and thought I could pull it off, but like the guy whose dick got in the way of his pole vault, it was just not meant to be. And now my 2 year old boy looks like a southern belle with mini-bangs.
I took home the bronze in Not Strangling My Child just now when they were both complaining about the cheese and crackers I'd been packing in their camp lunches and there's nothing else in the fridge because we're going out of town tomorrow so I offered to fry them some frozen pupusas instead and they agreed and I stood over a hot stove at 7:50am like a total rube and as I was loading their lunchboxes with hot, golden, crispy fried goods the older one walked in and said "I never asked for that"
Oh my God, this! Neither of the grandchildren can swim, so I checked with the eldest before buying a pricy, so pricey life vest because he refuses to wear the arm floaty things. Sure, he said over the phone. “That’s fine.” But that’s not what he said when we got to the water park. Of course not! And after swimming, I bought them snacks and they both hated what they chose so I bought them more snacks and I was all bitchy and snarly. And the oldest asked me if I was angry or sad, bless him. Then I explained the concept of hangry, ordered myself some lunch about three hours too late, and chilled out because there was no reason to lose my shit over grandkids being children.
Still waiting on the judges to decide on which medal I get for not driving off the Bay Bridge (on the way to Sky Zone, a medal event itself) when the boiled eggs my kids were trying to snack on turned out be raw.
My teammate is DTD on auditory processing and should have been listed "inactive" as he could not follow my instructions on which eggs were which. Unfortunately we have no back up husband, he decided to compete for France.
I got gold for Not Having a Heart Attack when my child screamed "MOM!" from upstairs in the loudest, most panic-filled voice. He couldn't find any shorts to wear. It was a shorts crisis.
I took the Bronze yesterday morning when my kid flung her ceramic bowl of oats clear across the kitchen and I did not scream and bellow like every pore and fiber of my being was telling me to. I did deny her breakfast after that so I’ll take the Bronze and be happy with it.
I medaled last night when I was in my bedroom with the door closed, meditating. I loudly pronounced to everyone in the house that I was going to meditate, do not bother me. After I finished meditating I looked out the bedroom window to find my 12yo daughter's face plastered to it, mouthing "are you done meditating yet?" and guess what? i didn't even yell at her!
I had a very poor showing in the first round of Bathing a Child With a Broken Arm. My son’s victory was quite impressive- there was crying on the floor, screams about how he needs to put both arms in the water, sobs about how I took his clothes off too fast, shrieks that the water in the tub was burning hot. If I am unable to come up with a winning plan I am simply going to cancel the event.
Oh I competed in this event last summer! I recused myself from the competition and the event was relocated to Grandpa's House due to the high levels of patience over there.
I won gold in Surviving NYC Parenting when I successfully left the house and got both downtown and across town alone with my 3.5 year old and one month old. (Second kid = go on the subway before 5 weeks.)
I won bronze in "insane things to do" when I decided we should move with a toddler and a newborn. Bronze because it was definitely a win but there has been much crying, some from the baby but a lot from me.
I don't know if the move is done or not yet but salute you well either way. I still laugh about how my husband and I were so new at parenting when we were moving my husband didn't want to put on the TV for the toddler while we packed wine glasses because TV was bad. rookies.
we are still in process--moved on Tuesday, and even with the movers unpacking us, there are a lot of boxes and things that get moved around. the toddler has watched much olympics (to the point where now she yells MAS RAPIDO at them when they race), but unfortunately the newborn cannot be so easily distracted by screens.
I am competing in TWO events, much to everyone’s surprise! Truly an honor to represent the country of Evil Witchedonia (a benevolent dictatorship with great schools). I’m trying to medal in Making a Loft Bed (this event includes a handoff to the child who promises to make his own loft bed as his mother hates climbing things). I was a late-breaking entry into Planning a Party for 13 yo Kids While Having a Migraine, a multi-day event, but it’s still going, so I need to change into my uniform and get back to repping my country!
Every minute you pretend to listen you will be rewarded with some hot energetic young lover in the olympic village, whatever that village looks like to you.
ahahahahahahah this entire thread is hilarious but I deeply relate to the car conversation (MOM LOOK AT THIS MINI DUMPER WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY USE IT FOR)
Do we have the same kid? Why are all my kid’s interests identical to my late grandfather’s? (Admittedly he was actually in WWII and an engineer, so they made more sense for him)
I took a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old with unmedicated ADHD to a water park yesterday and no one drowned, no bones were broken, and no blood was shed. Note to self: Next time, take one grandchild at a time to this hellish place.
Oh, I’m a silver medalist in Smiling agreeably when strangers tell me my 4 year old will sleep well tonight while I know that she won’t drop until at least 10:30 even if we rode bikes and swam for hours
I also took a Bronze last night as well, when there were so many stuffed animals on my son's bed he couldn't fit in it and when I was downstairs letting the dogs out he retrieved a whole other population of animals from a beanbag case because he needed all of them on the bed, making no room for any human. I fell behind in the race as I threatened to throw them away if we couldn't find another place for him or said his other option was sleeping on the floor so the animals could have the bed. Asking him to pick 20 animals to remove didn't go as planned either; only two were able to make the leap to a laundry basket. I made a big recovery in the last lap as I remembered his toddler armchair was taking up valuable space in my bedroom so if we brought it back into his, some of the animals could sit there. They look happy there and there is now more room on the bed.
Wow this is not only champion athleticism but also diplomacy at work! (PS I always get roid rage when trying to make the bed right before bedtime and the kid’s manner of making the bed renders this impossible to do simply.) you earned it.
My son has a knack for getting horribly sick while I'm on business travel. My personal GOAT moment was getting a call from daycare to pick up my sick toddler. This was ~12pm and I had a car service picking me up at 2 for a 4day work trip. Called the sitter, my husband, and the pediatrician (in that order). By the time I made it back from grabbing my kid our sitter was in our driveway and getting briefed on kid's symptoms (she was a nurse). My husband arrived just before my car service did and took over to go to the pediatrician while the sitter did the baby laundry, ran out for meds, and grabbed pedialyte. I made my plane and kiddo recovered quickly and my husband had backup care secured for the next 3 days during a huge snowstorm (of course!!). This sitter also drove an all terrain vehicle and lived 10 minutes away so was always available on snow days. We were SO sad when she moved!
Look, there are actually no medals awarded in the “Keeping Multiple Small Children from Killing Themselves or Each Other” event, but I haven’t been disqualified from the competition yet, so I think that’s a win?
One day I hope to enter a more exciting Olympic parenting event but for some reason you have to make it through the entire marathon first??
I'm very excited with my performance in the marathon of bringing two kids home from a friend's house when they did not get their fill of new-to-them toys. My teammates coordinated loud crying the entire walk home, and we made it inside our house without my deciding at the last moment to change the event to shot put.
My gold medal is in teaching the ungodly early rising 8yo to heat up her own pancake and maple syrup to feed herself breakfast so adults may sleep past 7 and maybe even until 8am this summer no school time.
Gold medal in not murdering camp for having "spirit week" and forcing me to come up with, in order, a sports jersey, "wacky" clothing, clean pajamas, and an all-red outfit. Neutral deduction of .3 for actually pulling the pajamas out of the hamper, spraying Downy Wrinkle Release on them, and calling them clean. Ultimately did not affect my score, as the difficulty was quite high.
I hope you got a standing ovation for your effort though. We got an email from camp a few weeks ago saying "The Maccabee games are coming!! Your kids' colors are black and yellow but don't tell them IT'S A SECRET! Just letting you know in case you want to pull out or purchase any clothes." I won't tell but I also won't go looking for clothes either.
Omg! Y’all are too funny! After reading all of these comments and laughing so hard that I’m crying, I’ve got nothing to add. Y’all deserve gold! Great job! 🇺🇸🥇
Last night I beat my 3 year old in the bedtime stubbornness marathon: He wanted to go to the bathroom for the third time in 15 minutes, and I wanted him to stay in bed and "rest his body" ie. not scream at the top of his lungs. After 10 minutes of back and forth dialogue he eventually caved. The question now is whether I can run two marathons in as many days.
I won gold on Sunday in Making Good Decisions for My Mental Health. I decided not to join husband and 2 daughters driving across Michigan, visiting beach, catching very late ferry to Wisconsin, driving further, and getting to hotel at catastrophically late hour, to visit his sister. I love his sister, but a) I had a stomach bug the week before so I'm done with nausea /motion sickness for a while and b) husband has not quite clued in that this is the start of my busy season at work. I saved myself a world of work stress and missed the result of younger daughter's motion sickness on day 1 as well as getting to watch Olympics without anyone saying "MOMMY!" for 5 days. And I got a cute postcard from the ferry. WIN
I got a gold in bedtime last night when my 2.5 year old had a meltdown that it was Dad's turn to do bedtime. Instead of forcing my hungry husband to clench his teeth through an hour of crying while I read on the couch (our agreed upon strategy), I offered him a Get Out of Jail Free Card if he would make dinner for us and I did bedtime. Kid was asleep in 40 min with no tears and I got a surprise steak dinner.
We are running a gold-medal-worthy relay race over here. My daughter has finally tested negative after 13 days of Covid but has valiantly passed the Covid baton to her younger brother, whose test turned positive so fast this morning that it qualified for an Olympic record. Just us and Noah Lyles, chilling on the podium. The fun never ends, amiright?!?
Thank you! Me too. Silver lining is that we didn’t have any summer camps lined up last week, this week or next week so at least I’m not waving goodbye to $$ other than what I’m spending on myself to not go insane (oh hello daily latte).
mmmm ima give myself the SILVER in navigating 2 camp dropoffs at the same fucking time in two different towns with two kids who are very very anxious about being late. I share the medal with my ex husband (pretty good teammate actually) and my judgy boomer mother (the MyKayla Skinner of it all). We are basically the devil's version of that nice picture of the three gymnasts sharing power at the podium, which I saw on Instagram because I am not following the Olympics.
Figured out how to get 2 yr old nephew to call me Auntie. He was puzzled when I continually introduced myself as my name. Because his name is Ollie and mine is Holly so he was like "you're stupid, that's my name"
I'm happy to claim a silver medal in dressing professional for work while a parent: today I received one compliment from the older kid ("Mom! You look just like that kid from the Sandlot!") and one unidentified stain from the younger kid (grease? snot?) before leaving the house. The judges gave special consideration for super-cute matching sneakers and my forceful delivery of "Don't touch my hair, I just did it!"
Thinking of starting a new volley event where I stop leading Fall prep and just instantly forward every single email coming from school/activities/doctors/etc. straight to my husband’s inbox. Nothing hits the floor!!/my mental list!!!
I had an accidental victory in this category. I missed Meet the Teacher with my 9 yo and husband because my doctor was an hour late to my telehealth appointment (to switch from birth control to MHT, so actual rage/sadness/night sweats on the line). Given he was riding high on being the most-informed-at-the-moment parent, I had him “use his phone” to join the class What’s App group. I didn’t see this coming, but am grateful to be here all the same. 🥇
Competing with an additional kid on top of my usual two since there’s no camp this week. Awarded silver for making 3 different lunches (docked points for heavy microwave use) and keeping them
occupied without the screen time I would have relied on if someone else’s kid weren't here.
I represented medical moms in a four-hour event at Boston Children's yesterday, despite thinking I was entered in the 30-minute-appointment division. We played every game on the ipad, walked laps, asked a million questions, took a break to eat in the car, met with a doctor who read abstracts from her phone, and then went back for more. Stupid event! Get us to the after party!
Adding you to the medical mom’s highlight reel because the doctor who sucks on top of it all is just the most crushing part of losing your whole day. We salute you.
I received gold in the wrestling today. Managed to carry a defiant, tired, and very angry 7 year old to the car and into his car seat without dropping said child or letting his flailing limbs hit younger siblings. Standing ovation please
My husband and I took team gold in sending the 17-year-old ADHD boy off to boarding school in another country for a year with one suitcase event last weekend. I credit the rigorous training regime of the past three months, which included a binder full of checklists and strict weekly controls that progressed to daily check-ins the last two weeks pre-final.
The team was not always in harmony in the run-up to the event; much shouting and cursing was registered between the two senior athletes. This makes the tear-free final even more impressive.
My current Olympic sport is a marathon, not a sprint, and it is putting eye ointment in my five-year-old son’s eye for 7 days 4x/day for a scratched cornea. TBD on medal—5 more days to go 🫠
I caught up with a stressed mom who is doing two drop offs and just bought a car because no daycare but then had to put her kids in expensive afterschool care and told her she was doing great (she is!!!) and then walked home in my very fancy dress that my child picked out for me to wear while I worked from home today. I may be in a new Olympics category but I think I represented the spirit of the games
Love the Olympic-level parenting skills! Managing multiple tasks with finesse while keeping a sense of humor—truly a gold medal performance. Keep up the fantastic work, Claire!👍
I did NOT get this medal- I totally broke a dish last week trying to move it from the edge of the counter where 5 yo left it to the dishwasher. I was holding other dishes. We got new vinyl tile in May and it seems hard!
In an upset victory I beat my husband in sleeping though kids coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night last night. Bow down to me suckas because I just beat the GOAT in sleeping through stuff.
Hi five. Me too. I think my husband has a reputation of being the nicer person in the middle of the night. In other words he doesn’t have the eye of the tiger.
OMG guys, me too!
Wow. To just be in the same comment thread as such legends🤩
Does this count? This summer I agreed to pay my teen son extra allowance to clean the kitchen after dinner each night. He does a better job than his father & he even lights a scented candle when he's cleaning. Best $5/week EVER.
OMG!! Is he looking for clients?! You are like the legendary coach who gets athletes to get to the next level
He wants a new Xbox real bad and I am taking advantage!
This is literally how I made money as a tween and I still fondly remember feeling like I had scammed my parents out of their money. Now I realize just how much of a deal they were getting. 😂
$5/week?!?! You absolute genius.
I am awarding a medal to the 20 year old kid who handles the entrance of my local swimming pool !
The pool is free for kids 3 years old or under, with a discount price for ages 4-12, and full price afterwards. We literally go every other day (heatwave in Europe), and I used to say : one adult entrance and one kid entrance for my child, he's 4. EVERY time he looked me dead in the eye and asked : what age is the child ? *pointed look*
Took me 3 times to understand he was suggesting I blatantly lie to him ahahah (and that he was hearing me perfectly fine the first time). Now I just say : one adult entrance and one free entrance for my kid who is 3 *pointed look*. He smiles and I save 2.4 euros each time. Not all heroes wear capes !!!
That is so cute <3
I passed off the Olympic Torch of cleaning the kitchen to my two ungrateful sons and was rewarded with slamming drawers and loud sighs to my infinite amusement.
This year’s games official theme song 🎵
Not sure if I'm in medal contention, but I've definitely achieved a personal best score in Patching Together Things for Kids to Do at the end of the summer when I have no camps or organized activities planned. I've managed to schedule key grandparent participation, find a new nearby park pool and bike park that everyone enjoys, and start discussions around a number of strategic playdates during times that I need to work. Beautiful performance all around.
These are the champion moments we remember for years to come! Take a bow come closing ceremonies (day school starts)
I should say we are still in the qualifying round here - we'll see where things end up in the finals when I have to actually work during these unscheduled weeks. That's really when champions are made.
Gold worthy.
Despite my best efforts I came in last place in cutting my 2 year old's bangs. Sadly I really over-estimated my skills and thought I could pull it off, but like the guy whose dick got in the way of his pole vault, it was just not meant to be. And now my 2 year old boy looks like a southern belle with mini-bangs.
I bet he looks like the handsomest little dutch boy
We cut my 7 yo’s hair back in 2020 and he looked like Dudley Moore in Arthur- we had to buzz it off.
😂
I took home the bronze in Not Strangling My Child just now when they were both complaining about the cheese and crackers I'd been packing in their camp lunches and there's nothing else in the fridge because we're going out of town tomorrow so I offered to fry them some frozen pupusas instead and they agreed and I stood over a hot stove at 7:50am like a total rube and as I was loading their lunchboxes with hot, golden, crispy fried goods the older one walked in and said "I never asked for that"
lol!! Wow, that kid is disqualified. It's hard when you don't have supportive teammates.
Oh my God, this! Neither of the grandchildren can swim, so I checked with the eldest before buying a pricy, so pricey life vest because he refuses to wear the arm floaty things. Sure, he said over the phone. “That’s fine.” But that’s not what he said when we got to the water park. Of course not! And after swimming, I bought them snacks and they both hated what they chose so I bought them more snacks and I was all bitchy and snarly. And the oldest asked me if I was angry or sad, bless him. Then I explained the concept of hangry, ordered myself some lunch about three hours too late, and chilled out because there was no reason to lose my shit over grandkids being children.
Still waiting on the judges to decide on which medal I get for not driving off the Bay Bridge (on the way to Sky Zone, a medal event itself) when the boiled eggs my kids were trying to snack on turned out be raw.
My teammate is DTD on auditory processing and should have been listed "inactive" as he could not follow my instructions on which eggs were which. Unfortunately we have no back up husband, he decided to compete for France.
It might not be a medal but it's going down as one of the most viral and shared moments of the games. Memes are being made as we speak. Congrats!
seriously this is overshadowing the whale that showed up during surfing
(I'm taking 4 boys to Sky Zone next week; I'll be sure to be extra careful about the egg situation)
Just don't get any crazy ideas about "healthy snacks" and you'll be golden.
lol
I got gold for Not Having a Heart Attack when my child screamed "MOM!" from upstairs in the loudest, most panic-filled voice. He couldn't find any shorts to wear. It was a shorts crisis.
This is what we train for
I took the Bronze yesterday morning when my kid flung her ceramic bowl of oats clear across the kitchen and I did not scream and bellow like every pore and fiber of my being was telling me to. I did deny her breakfast after that so I’ll take the Bronze and be happy with it.
They broadcast that event on TV while we were out having dinner! I saw you and was proud. The slo mo replay was amazing.
very very impressing that you did not scream, well deserved bronze
I medaled last night when I was in my bedroom with the door closed, meditating. I loudly pronounced to everyone in the house that I was going to meditate, do not bother me. After I finished meditating I looked out the bedroom window to find my 12yo daughter's face plastered to it, mouthing "are you done meditating yet?" and guess what? i didn't even yell at her!
HAHHAHAHAHAH
lol. and points to her for merely mouthing instead of doing a quiet scream whisper
I had a very poor showing in the first round of Bathing a Child With a Broken Arm. My son’s victory was quite impressive- there was crying on the floor, screams about how he needs to put both arms in the water, sobs about how I took his clothes off too fast, shrieks that the water in the tub was burning hot. If I am unable to come up with a winning plan I am simply going to cancel the event.
that tub is like the Seine this year. Nice idea but kinda shitty
Oh I competed in this event last summer! I recused myself from the competition and the event was relocated to Grandpa's House due to the high levels of patience over there.
that iconic photo of Grandpa wearing all the gold medals
I won gold in Surviving NYC Parenting when I successfully left the house and got both downtown and across town alone with my 3.5 year old and one month old. (Second kid = go on the subway before 5 weeks.)
I won bronze in "insane things to do" when I decided we should move with a toddler and a newborn. Bronze because it was definitely a win but there has been much crying, some from the baby but a lot from me.
I don't know if the move is done or not yet but salute you well either way. I still laugh about how my husband and I were so new at parenting when we were moving my husband didn't want to put on the TV for the toddler while we packed wine glasses because TV was bad. rookies.
we are still in process--moved on Tuesday, and even with the movers unpacking us, there are a lot of boxes and things that get moved around. the toddler has watched much olympics (to the point where now she yells MAS RAPIDO at them when they race), but unfortunately the newborn cannot be so easily distracted by screens.
that's the one bad thing about newborns
I am competing in TWO events, much to everyone’s surprise! Truly an honor to represent the country of Evil Witchedonia (a benevolent dictatorship with great schools). I’m trying to medal in Making a Loft Bed (this event includes a handoff to the child who promises to make his own loft bed as his mother hates climbing things). I was a late-breaking entry into Planning a Party for 13 yo Kids While Having a Migraine, a multi-day event, but it’s still going, so I need to change into my uniform and get back to repping my country!
We're all rooting for you Rebecca! I heard it's hard to perform well at those loft bed altitudes
I win a gold every day from LISTENING EVEN HALF HEARTEDLY to my kid's latest hyperfixation subject: cars. I just could not care less.
Every minute you pretend to listen you will be rewarded with some hot energetic young lover in the olympic village, whatever that village looks like to you.
Did you know that the Cybertruck has a tow capacity of 12,000 lbs????
ahahahahahahah this entire thread is hilarious but I deeply relate to the car conversation (MOM LOOK AT THIS MINI DUMPER WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY USE IT FOR)
I also competed in the LISTENING EVEN HALF HEARTEDLY event, except my child’s fixation is hydraulic systems.
We've been through that one. Also sewage systems. Also trains. Also World war II.
Do we have the same kid? Why are all my kid’s interests identical to my late grandfather’s? (Admittedly he was actually in WWII and an engineer, so they made more sense for him)
I took a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old with unmedicated ADHD to a water park yesterday and no one drowned, no bones were broken, and no blood was shed. Note to self: Next time, take one grandchild at a time to this hellish place.
👏👏👏👏👏 that's why they invented the phrase "They'll sleep well tonight"
Oh, I’m a silver medalist in Smiling agreeably when strangers tell me my 4 year old will sleep well tonight while I know that she won’t drop until at least 10:30 even if we rode bikes and swam for hours
I also took a Bronze last night as well, when there were so many stuffed animals on my son's bed he couldn't fit in it and when I was downstairs letting the dogs out he retrieved a whole other population of animals from a beanbag case because he needed all of them on the bed, making no room for any human. I fell behind in the race as I threatened to throw them away if we couldn't find another place for him or said his other option was sleeping on the floor so the animals could have the bed. Asking him to pick 20 animals to remove didn't go as planned either; only two were able to make the leap to a laundry basket. I made a big recovery in the last lap as I remembered his toddler armchair was taking up valuable space in my bedroom so if we brought it back into his, some of the animals could sit there. They look happy there and there is now more room on the bed.
Wow this is not only champion athleticism but also diplomacy at work! (PS I always get roid rage when trying to make the bed right before bedtime and the kid’s manner of making the bed renders this impossible to do simply.) you earned it.
My son has a knack for getting horribly sick while I'm on business travel. My personal GOAT moment was getting a call from daycare to pick up my sick toddler. This was ~12pm and I had a car service picking me up at 2 for a 4day work trip. Called the sitter, my husband, and the pediatrician (in that order). By the time I made it back from grabbing my kid our sitter was in our driveway and getting briefed on kid's symptoms (she was a nurse). My husband arrived just before my car service did and took over to go to the pediatrician while the sitter did the baby laundry, ran out for meds, and grabbed pedialyte. I made my plane and kiddo recovered quickly and my husband had backup care secured for the next 3 days during a huge snowstorm (of course!!). This sitter also drove an all terrain vehicle and lived 10 minutes away so was always available on snow days. We were SO sad when she moved!
this is unbelievable! actual relay race here but maybe more X Games than Olympics due to hard core ness.
Look, there are actually no medals awarded in the “Keeping Multiple Small Children from Killing Themselves or Each Other” event, but I haven’t been disqualified from the competition yet, so I think that’s a win?
One day I hope to enter a more exciting Olympic parenting event but for some reason you have to make it through the entire marathon first??
the KMSCFKTOEO is a qualifying event!
I'm very excited with my performance in the marathon of bringing two kids home from a friend's house when they did not get their fill of new-to-them toys. My teammates coordinated loud crying the entire walk home, and we made it inside our house without my deciding at the last moment to change the event to shot put.
Angels among us! (you)
lol shot put
My gold medal is in teaching the ungodly early rising 8yo to heat up her own pancake and maple syrup to feed herself breakfast so adults may sleep past 7 and maybe even until 8am this summer no school time.
This is going on on a Wheaties box!
Don’t worry, she has found other “emergency” reasons to wake us up. Like to tell us about her video games.
This sounds like my life! My 7 yo would get breakfast for himself and brother with 0 issue and come to tell us about Zelda at 7:30 am.
Gold medal in not murdering camp for having "spirit week" and forcing me to come up with, in order, a sports jersey, "wacky" clothing, clean pajamas, and an all-red outfit. Neutral deduction of .3 for actually pulling the pajamas out of the hamper, spraying Downy Wrinkle Release on them, and calling them clean. Ultimately did not affect my score, as the difficulty was quite high.
I hope you got a standing ovation for your effort though. We got an email from camp a few weeks ago saying "The Maccabee games are coming!! Your kids' colors are black and yellow but don't tell them IT'S A SECRET! Just letting you know in case you want to pull out or purchase any clothes." I won't tell but I also won't go looking for clothes either.
Omg! Y’all are too funny! After reading all of these comments and laughing so hard that I’m crying, I’ve got nothing to add. Y’all deserve gold! Great job! 🇺🇸🥇
Brilliant and hilarious, each and every one.
Last night I beat my 3 year old in the bedtime stubbornness marathon: He wanted to go to the bathroom for the third time in 15 minutes, and I wanted him to stay in bed and "rest his body" ie. not scream at the top of his lungs. After 10 minutes of back and forth dialogue he eventually caved. The question now is whether I can run two marathons in as many days.
Conditions have to be optimal! Wear that silver Mylar blanket from the first one with pride in the meantime.
For those of you wondering, the answer is no. The miracle could not be repeated.
aw man, better luck next Olympics Kristy. Good luck in the off season (tomorrow)
I won gold on Sunday in Making Good Decisions for My Mental Health. I decided not to join husband and 2 daughters driving across Michigan, visiting beach, catching very late ferry to Wisconsin, driving further, and getting to hotel at catastrophically late hour, to visit his sister. I love his sister, but a) I had a stomach bug the week before so I'm done with nausea /motion sickness for a while and b) husband has not quite clued in that this is the start of my busy season at work. I saved myself a world of work stress and missed the result of younger daughter's motion sickness on day 1 as well as getting to watch Olympics without anyone saying "MOMMY!" for 5 days. And I got a cute postcard from the ferry. WIN
Brilliant, Anne. 🏆🏆This is an excellent example of letting people do their own relating. Brava!
I REALLY support this! fan favorite.
I got a gold in bedtime last night when my 2.5 year old had a meltdown that it was Dad's turn to do bedtime. Instead of forcing my hungry husband to clench his teeth through an hour of crying while I read on the couch (our agreed upon strategy), I offered him a Get Out of Jail Free Card if he would make dinner for us and I did bedtime. Kid was asleep in 40 min with no tears and I got a surprise steak dinner.
Bravo!!! I can’t believe it got 10s from even the east german judges!!
niiiiiice. You deserved to refuel after that!
We are running a gold-medal-worthy relay race over here. My daughter has finally tested negative after 13 days of Covid but has valiantly passed the Covid baton to her younger brother, whose test turned positive so fast this morning that it qualified for an Olympic record. Just us and Noah Lyles, chilling on the podium. The fun never ends, amiright?!?
Is it so much to ask that they overlap? I've been there. The ultra-marathon. I hope they're all incredibly healthy by the start of school.
Thank you! Me too. Silver lining is that we didn’t have any summer camps lined up last week, this week or next week so at least I’m not waving goodbye to $$ other than what I’m spending on myself to not go insane (oh hello daily latte).
mmmm ima give myself the SILVER in navigating 2 camp dropoffs at the same fucking time in two different towns with two kids who are very very anxious about being late. I share the medal with my ex husband (pretty good teammate actually) and my judgy boomer mother (the MyKayla Skinner of it all). We are basically the devil's version of that nice picture of the three gymnasts sharing power at the podium, which I saw on Instagram because I am not following the Olympics.
haha I am the same re: only knowing these games through memes. Snoop Dogg/Martha. Turkish shooting guy. Glasses pommel horse dude.
Way to go being in two places at once and cultivating good team chemistry!!
Figured out how to get 2 yr old nephew to call me Auntie. He was puzzled when I continually introduced myself as my name. Because his name is Ollie and mine is Holly so he was like "you're stupid, that's my name"
that is hilarious. convincing a 2 year old to do anything is quite elite level shit
I'm happy to claim a silver medal in dressing professional for work while a parent: today I received one compliment from the older kid ("Mom! You look just like that kid from the Sandlot!") and one unidentified stain from the younger kid (grease? snot?) before leaving the house. The judges gave special consideration for super-cute matching sneakers and my forceful delivery of "Don't touch my hair, I just did it!"
It's an honor to compete in these games.
:::wipes away tear:::
Thinking of starting a new volley event where I stop leading Fall prep and just instantly forward every single email coming from school/activities/doctors/etc. straight to my husband’s inbox. Nothing hits the floor!!/my mental list!!!
I think that's great. What if you secretly emailed the school and told them to simply lose your email. (that's like bringing in a ringer)
I had an accidental victory in this category. I missed Meet the Teacher with my 9 yo and husband because my doctor was an hour late to my telehealth appointment (to switch from birth control to MHT, so actual rage/sadness/night sweats on the line). Given he was riding high on being the most-informed-at-the-moment parent, I had him “use his phone” to join the class What’s App group. I didn’t see this coming, but am grateful to be here all the same. 🥇
he had the hot hand! You're an intelligent manager.
Competing with an additional kid on top of my usual two since there’s no camp this week. Awarded silver for making 3 different lunches (docked points for heavy microwave use) and keeping them
occupied without the screen time I would have relied on if someone else’s kid weren't here.
screenless social time WITH food and bonus kid?! I hope that kid's mom asked for your autograph
They changed the scoring system this year! Microwave is bonus points for embracing the modern game and shaving precious seconds off your PR!!
I represented medical moms in a four-hour event at Boston Children's yesterday, despite thinking I was entered in the 30-minute-appointment division. We played every game on the ipad, walked laps, asked a million questions, took a break to eat in the car, met with a doctor who read abstracts from her phone, and then went back for more. Stupid event! Get us to the after party!
Adding you to the medical mom’s highlight reel because the doctor who sucks on top of it all is just the most crushing part of losing your whole day. We salute you.
Thank you! I didn’t see it coming 🤦♀️my son handled it like a pro though 🤪
oh NO.
Eating in the car sounds alright though.
I received gold in the wrestling today. Managed to carry a defiant, tired, and very angry 7 year old to the car and into his car seat without dropping said child or letting his flailing limbs hit younger siblings. Standing ovation please
I am belatedly catching up but I heard about this over the wires!! Congratulations, you did it!
My husband and I took team gold in sending the 17-year-old ADHD boy off to boarding school in another country for a year with one suitcase event last weekend. I credit the rigorous training regime of the past three months, which included a binder full of checklists and strict weekly controls that progressed to daily check-ins the last two weeks pre-final.
The team was not always in harmony in the run-up to the event; much shouting and cursing was registered between the two senior athletes. This makes the tear-free final even more impressive.
that sounds like SO much admin and emotional work Caroline! Hope you are all settling in to the school year ok.
My current Olympic sport is a marathon, not a sprint, and it is putting eye ointment in my five-year-old son’s eye for 7 days 4x/day for a scratched cornea. TBD on medal—5 more days to go 🫠
Eye ~ointment~?? 🫨
you got this. I believe in you. oh man.
I caught up with a stressed mom who is doing two drop offs and just bought a car because no daycare but then had to put her kids in expensive afterschool care and told her she was doing great (she is!!!) and then walked home in my very fancy dress that my child picked out for me to wear while I worked from home today. I may be in a new Olympics category but I think I represented the spirit of the games
Aw man! You get a special award for inspiring witches everywhere.
Love the Olympic-level parenting skills! Managing multiple tasks with finesse while keeping a sense of humor—truly a gold medal performance. Keep up the fantastic work, Claire!👍
I did NOT get this medal- I totally broke a dish last week trying to move it from the edge of the counter where 5 yo left it to the dishwasher. I was holding other dishes. We got new vinyl tile in May and it seems hard!