wrote me, “I had a random thought. I would like more funny t shirts that are not, like, crappy wine mom things (and not necessarily mom-related). Have you ever asked for recs like that in Evil Witches?”
No, and this is the best question ever. Let’s normalize funny not-necesarily-mom-related t-shirts for moms.
I myself have one that says “I don't want any writing just leave the t-shirt blank” because I saw a witch on Instagram wearing one that was cut very flatteringly and I was like I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah). And I have another one that says “I tried” so I could put it on the days I get a call from school telling me my child has not been an angel (or any other time I need to remind myself that I tried.)
What have you got? Forget swapping recipes and talking about our dumb kids: let’s just get stupid today.
My husband and I once saw a woman walking down the street with a shirt that says “you’ve mistaken me for someone who wants to talk to you” and we still laugh about it
For my birthday, my husband took my hint and bought me a t-shirt that said: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE VIBES THAT AREN'T ROOTIN TOOTIN (https://shorturl.at/lzN78). It is perfect.
Spirit Halloween has a surprisingly good selection of t-shirts this year. I'm not usually one for a silly graphic tee, but I bought TWO: Easy Bake Coven (with illustration of tween girls around a tiny floating oven conjuring pentagram pies) and Adopt a Familiar - Black Cat Animal Rescue (in a very Stranger Things font with owl, black cat, rat, crow, hare, and toad). I absolutely plan to wear them year-round.
My favorite tweet of all time was an (incredibly successful Emmy-winning) guy I knew in college responding to something idiotic Tom Cotton said with something Ike “This is why you sat alone at dinner in college, Tom.” It was just *chef’s kiss.”
I once saw a woman in a foreign country walking down the street with a shirt that said "pizza tits" and had the pizza hut logo. I desperately wish I owned that shirt.
I saw someone wearing a t-shirt that said "Uninspiring disabled person". I felt that! (Many people tell me my son is "inspiring", I'm always curious what exactly he's inspiring them to do!)
"Be Gay, Do Crime", purchased after a parent at the school where I teach insisted that we shouldn't have an LGBT student group because it was "illegal". 😅 I don't wear it to work but I channel its energy on a daily basis.
Literally anything made by Raygun. You want shirts that make fun of Chicago, KC, Iowa, Nebraska and their various sportsball teams? They’ve got you. Want something making fun of politicians? They’ve got those too. I swear half my wardrobe are shirts from them https://www.raygunsite.com/collections/t-shirts-1
My favorite shirt says “Eat your veggies, bitch.” I was bummed when my kids learned to read and I couldn’t wear it around them, now that they’re older I’m bringing it back!
There is a comedy called "Great News" on Netflix I love and in one ep a redhead is caught committing arson and he says live on-air, "Redheads unite and kill all the other hair colors!" I think you should get that one made up.
When I was pregnant, I had a maternity tshirt that said “Ice Ice” on it. Both ices stacked on top of eachother. I was wearing it when I was probably 8 months or so along, and I walked past people eating at the sidewalk tables of a neighborhood restaurant and a stranger applauded me.
My "sober feminist buzzkill" shirt is the most true expression I own. There's also a woman I see around town with a shirt that says "I will put you in my trunk and help people look for you. Stop playing with me." Gets me every time (and a little scared lol.)
Most of my tees are just pop culture references and I am kind of jealous of all of these comments. I do have a "Blame John Waters" shirt that I wear a lot but as much as I think all of these things in my head, I am super prudish about wearing shirts that have foul language on them and also don't want to invite attention from other people unless it is to complement me because the shirt I am wearing is from a television show or movie they recognize.
Oct 25, 2023·edited Oct 25, 2023Liked by Claire Zulkey
I get this too. I have a Parks and Rec shirt that references Li'l Sebastian but I only wear it if I am feeling open to strangers potentially commenting on it (which is not always as I am a tired introvert). But not everyone gets it and once a mom at a birthday drop off told me she liked it and that is how I knew we could be friends.
But I also have some good funny mugs. I think funny mugs are a good option too.
A couple years ago I sought out and bought a t-shirt that says “Al Dente.” It brings me joy because it’s random and trivial. In a time when it can feel exhausting and demoralizing to take a stance on anything, I feel quite good about coming out strong against soggy pasta.
Love this topic. I have supplied my husband with an entire wardrobe of funny tees and have a couple of my own. My favorite:
“ ‘That’s what’ -She”
I also have one that just says “Nope. Not today” that i find useful for those kinds of days. I have one that says “NAP” but in the Gap signature logo style.
I need to plug this WIERDO shirt: https://loudflowerartco.com/collections/weirdos Most importantly, it's very soft. Second most importantly, Madi (the artist) makes it in kids sizes, so now my kids are appropriately labeled. Thank you, Madi.
I have Jessica Valenti’s Abortion, Everyday’s T shirt that says: “Abortion Bans can fu*ck off into the sun”. Also more than one Ween AND Steely Dan T-shirt. All of these things are important to me! LOL
I wear Pizza John tees, which are sold yearly as a charity fundraiser by a niche internet fandom. If someone else is in the same internet community, they strike up a conversation, and if they’re not, it reads as weird / quirky so only other weird / quirky types talk to me. Win-win!
This is only available on a bucket hat which is why I haven't pulled the trigger but I appreciate the sentiment. I deeply, deeply, DEEPLY wish it was on a tee shirt that I would wear standing next to my husband at his middle age white man concerts. Plus the store name is just . . . 10/10.
Not a shirt, but I have a tote that says "Men have made a lot of bad art."
I own this one even though I do, in fact, want revenge: https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Lucky-Women-Equality-Revenge/dp/B0C71N4C5M
https://www.effinbirds.com/collections/womens-shirts
I pretty much want all of these, but my favorite is “Feminism is for everyone, dipshit.”
Amazing. I just purchased the "I am going to deal with this problem by yelling" one in mauve.
These are all A+ shirts.
This is fucking genius. Although we are terrifyingly seeing that it is not for everyone; some people really want to put us back in the dark ages.
I somehow did not know effin birds also had shirts! Very happy to learn this.
Holy crap, that’s a good one.
I have that on a mug and it is my favorite.
This artist, Molly Colleen O'Connell, is a friend of a friend and her "Feral MILF No Morals" shirt is so so so so good and v. appropriate for this community: https://poetyunlimited.bigcartel.com/product/feral-milf-no-morals-tee
AMAZING
I’m in love with her!
WOW
My husband and I once saw a woman walking down the street with a shirt that says “you’ve mistaken me for someone who wants to talk to you” and we still laugh about it
Dr. Pepper is a Woman https://www.bonfire.com/dr-pepper-is-a-woman/
I own this Elizabeth Warren campaign shirt: "She's Electable if you Fucking Vote 4 Her" https://medium.com/@lisa.oneill/shes-electable-if-you-vote-4-her-an-interview-with-artist-jackie-ann-ruiz-c6c14d36164
I have this one too
On first reading, I thought your t-shirt said "I tired," and I very much felt that.
Ha! We need to make ibe a thing
For my birthday, my husband took my hint and bought me a t-shirt that said: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE VIBES THAT AREN'T ROOTIN TOOTIN (https://shorturl.at/lzN78). It is perfect.
Omg I love this one so much!
Spirit Halloween has a surprisingly good selection of t-shirts this year. I'm not usually one for a silly graphic tee, but I bought TWO: Easy Bake Coven (with illustration of tween girls around a tiny floating oven conjuring pentagram pies) and Adopt a Familiar - Black Cat Animal Rescue (in a very Stranger Things font with owl, black cat, rat, crow, hare, and toad). I absolutely plan to wear them year-round.
I haven't bought it yet, but I think of it often. "Surviving Purely Out of Spite."
https://www.wickedclothes.com/products/purely-spite-shirt?pb=0
I'm debating this one: https://www.effinbirds.com/products/powered-by-spite-t-shirt
Oooh, that one is tempting.
that is perfect.
Did school dropoff in this one the other day. Love to confuse tf out of the other parents. https://thegoodshirts.com/products/who-drink-arnorl-palmer?_pos=1&_psq=arnol&_ss=e&_v=1.0
thank you for this
I laughed. This shirt definitely understands the assignment
I got a "like flowers we will fade" tee w a ghost on it from Sad Beige that I really like -
https://www.bonfire.com/like-flowers-we-will-fade/
but recommend sizing UP UP UP bc cropped (why cropped) and shrunk in wash
there are some goodies there now - I kind of want a "nobody likes ted cruz" tee
https://www.bonfire.com/store/sadbeige/
I clicked thru, saw the Boys Will Be Good Humans shirts, and oictured myslef wearing one of those while my boys fight and do dumb stuff ;)
My favorite tweet of all time was an (incredibly successful Emmy-winning) guy I knew in college responding to something idiotic Tom Cotton said with something Ike “This is why you sat alone at dinner in college, Tom.” It was just *chef’s kiss.”
hahaaa, I had actually forgotten about that guy
Not funny, but that Golly What a Day one is GORGEOUS.
I got a black t shirt at Forever 21 at least ten years ago that just says NO THANKS on the front. Multipurpose!
I once saw a woman in a foreign country walking down the street with a shirt that said "pizza tits" and had the pizza hut logo. I desperately wish I owned that shirt.
Whoever she is is my new queen
That reminds me that I had a t shirt in college which had a couple of beer jugs on the front and the words “nice jugs”. Those were the days 😂
I saw someone wearing a t-shirt that said "Uninspiring disabled person". I felt that! (Many people tell me my son is "inspiring", I'm always curious what exactly he's inspiring them to do!)
My Love Language Is Silence.
https://shop.getbullish.com/products/my-love-language-is-silence-unisex-heavy-blend-hooded-sweatshirt-sizes-s-5xl
I love the Bullish store generally for all sorts of snarky funny everything
I have a keychain from them that says “Out of Patience with Deeply Disappointing Men In Unmerited Positions of Authority.”
Omigosh I need one.
I’m very sad they no longer have the “goddamn genius” pencils. I’m down to my last one!
I definitely need this one and happy to learn about Bullish too.
Don’t have yet, but definitely need: https://www.raygunsite.com/collections/t-shirts-1/products/eat-the-yachts
“I came to Texas for an abortion and all I got was disenfranchised. And this lousy t-shirt.”
I’m currently traveling in Texas and I want this now.
I have this Satanic Celine Dion t-shirt: https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/18791961-celin-dion
this is amazing.
I am very into this
oh my god I am buying this right now
DITTO
"Be Gay, Do Crime", purchased after a parent at the school where I teach insisted that we shouldn't have an LGBT student group because it was "illegal". 😅 I don't wear it to work but I channel its energy on a daily basis.
Fuck that parent; love that shirt.
I think this thread might finally inspire me to pull the trigger on this one: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1484814706
DO IT. I've seen that one in the wild and it made me so happy.
Omg. My husband’s Christmas present is found.
Not a shirt, but a friend has a cross-stitch sampler that says "Bless Doing Less" and I love it.
I love this Etsy store and could order a dozen of these tees:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/JustinsShirtStore?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=1416272875&from_page=listing
This one in particular cracks me up:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1331106702/dehydrated-unisex-sweatshirt?click_key=94def47f92936ff58e8716aaefade5b2e8082daa%3A1331106702&click_sum=3a2969f7&ref=shop_home_recs_13&crt=1
These are all so cute!
Literally anything made by Raygun. You want shirts that make fun of Chicago, KC, Iowa, Nebraska and their various sportsball teams? They’ve got you. Want something making fun of politicians? They’ve got those too. I swear half my wardrobe are shirts from them https://www.raygunsite.com/collections/t-shirts-1
I don't want to own a shirt with a white man on it but if I did it would definitely be the SKILLING ME SOFTLY one
hell yes. Tom is the one white man who can stay and I'm including my husband and children in that list.
I love that store. This one makes me guffaw everytime - https://www.raygunsite.com/products/el-train
My 7yo is wearing that right now
So great. I got a Swedish “ugly sweater” Christmas shirt there I still wear
I wear this one to PT, kids birthday parties, school drop off, etc: https://girrlscoutshop.com/products/im-tired-limited-edition-vintage-tee
IT’S FINE
I’M FINE
EVERYTHING IS FINE
https://www.etsy.com/listing/968242291/its-fine-im-fine-everything-is-fine?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_ps-e-clothing-other&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjw-eKpBhAbEiwAqFL0mt_Ec5rJop1eqkapGr1FRmgDTnF8-kC-J19i1FD_JtN_teV2LoX6jBoClwkQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_12565309642_118771236159_507187468503_aud-1184785539978:pla-297616371983_c__968242291_348680078&utm_custom2=12565309642&gclid=CjwKCAjw-eKpBhAbEiwAqFL0mt_Ec5rJop1eqkapGr1FRmgDTnF8-kC-J19i1FD_JtN_teV2LoX6jBoClwkQAvD_BwE
I love how wonderfully fine the models all look
I love this one with three witches riding their brooms that reads "Girls Will Be Girls: - https://www.boredwalk.com/collections/ladies-tshirts/products/womens-girls-will-be-girls-witch-t-shirt
My favorite shirt says “Eat your veggies, bitch.” I was bummed when my kids learned to read and I couldn’t wear it around them, now that they’re older I’m bringing it back!
I have one of the decorative gourd season mutherfuckers mugs (https://store.mcsweeneys.net/products/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfucker-mug?taxon_id=1) that I had to hide for a while but now my kids are old enough that I can bring it back out.
Being able to bring back out the profanity items is really an underappreciated parenting milestone.
Reductress is selling ones that say "Time to fuck the pumpkins" and I don't have the balls to wear that but I still like the sentiment.
Yeah, I feel like I can't wear a lot of the Reductress ones but they make me laugh. I have this Reductress mug though: https://shop.reductress.com/products/i-will-be-just-as-tired-after-i-drink-this-reductress-mug
that is hilarious!!
My only current one, which is very old but I love as a redhead, says "Redheads have more fun."
I used to have a pin that said "Women who think they are equal to men lack ambition" which I had wished was a shirt.
There is a comedy called "Great News" on Netflix I love and in one ep a redhead is caught committing arson and he says live on-air, "Redheads unite and kill all the other hair colors!" I think you should get that one made up.
Justice for Great News!!
that show made me fall in love with Nicole Richie.
She is so good in that role! I wish she had been given more to do.
Was that very old one from like urban outfitters? Or maybe delia*s? Because I had that one.
Mom related, but witchy - "Weird Mother" shirts from Drawings by Nicole, lots of good ones to choose from:
https://drawingsbynicole.com/products/weird-mother-shirt-in-black-s-xl?_pos=28&_sid=9f7130c33&_ss=r
https://drawingsbynicole.com/products/weird-mother-explosion-shirt?_pos=26&_sid=9f7130c33&_ss=r
https://drawingsbynicole.com/products/weird-mother-stranger-things-mashup-black-shirt-s-xxxl?_pos=5&_sid=9f7130c33&_ss=r
I need all of these so I can find my mom people, beyond the people in this comment section who clearly are my mom people
exactly!!!
YES! I love her store so much.
When I was pregnant, I had a maternity tshirt that said “Ice Ice” on it. Both ices stacked on top of eachother. I was wearing it when I was probably 8 months or so along, and I walked past people eating at the sidewalk tables of a neighborhood restaurant and a stranger applauded me.
My "sober feminist buzzkill" shirt is the most true expression I own. There's also a woman I see around town with a shirt that says "I will put you in my trunk and help people look for you. Stop playing with me." Gets me every time (and a little scared lol.)
I have a sober feminist killjoy shirt! And I love it so much 💕
I once saw a parent at school drop off with a t shirt that just said “why?” I think about it every weekday morning.
indeed!! I would probably decide to make that person my friend. I have chosen friends based on weaker criteria than that.
Did not know I needed this thread so very very much
This thread checks all the boxes, and helps my Christmas list get done.
How about no? https://www.teeturtle.com/products/how-about-no?variant=19577791488151
Another fave: https://www.teeturtle.com/products/coffee-keeps-me-calm-stitch?variant=19577791485967
This one has been around for a minute but I got this riff on the YALE shirt for a friend from Mississippi
https://kyforky.com/collections/t-shirts/products/yall-t-shirt-blue
Most of my tees are just pop culture references and I am kind of jealous of all of these comments. I do have a "Blame John Waters" shirt that I wear a lot but as much as I think all of these things in my head, I am super prudish about wearing shirts that have foul language on them and also don't want to invite attention from other people unless it is to complement me because the shirt I am wearing is from a television show or movie they recognize.
that is the rough part--so many shirts sorta invite people look at our cans or can-area.
I get this too. I have a Parks and Rec shirt that references Li'l Sebastian but I only wear it if I am feeling open to strangers potentially commenting on it (which is not always as I am a tired introvert). But not everyone gets it and once a mom at a birthday drop off told me she liked it and that is how I knew we could be friends.
But I also have some good funny mugs. I think funny mugs are a good option too.
My husband bought me one from a comic artist that said “ask me about my feminist agenda.” Love it. https://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2016/10/ask-them-about-their-feminist-agenda-marvel-mockingbird/
I'm so tired of trying 😭
https://www.wickedclothes.com/products/tired-of-trying-shirt
A couple years ago I sought out and bought a t-shirt that says “Al Dente.” It brings me joy because it’s random and trivial. In a time when it can feel exhausting and demoralizing to take a stance on anything, I feel quite good about coming out strong against soggy pasta.
my philosophy is ABTAP (always be thinking about pasta)
Love this topic. I have supplied my husband with an entire wardrobe of funny tees and have a couple of my own. My favorite:
“ ‘That’s what’ -She”
I also have one that just says “Nope. Not today” that i find useful for those kinds of days. I have one that says “NAP” but in the Gap signature logo style.
My all time favorite shirt https://amzn.to/497uVlK
There's an old-school one I've loved for years: "Girls don't like boys, girls like aliens and Dana Scully" - and a cheap dupe on Amazon that I'd buy if it weren't ripping off the original artist, which reads, hilariously, "Girls don't like boys, girl like aliens and Dana Scully". Anyway, here's the orig: https://www.wish.com/product/girls-dont-like-boys-girls-like-aliens-and-dana-scully-mens-t-shirt-men-clothing-print-custom-t-shirt--men-funny-tops-tees-5ab475d1c7e80b7aaf8f1d3c
That was worth reading twice
I need to plug this WIERDO shirt: https://loudflowerartco.com/collections/weirdos Most importantly, it's very soft. Second most importantly, Madi (the artist) makes it in kids sizes, so now my kids are appropriately labeled. Thank you, Madi.
I'm going to rep a couple locals here:
https://www.realsaltydesignco.com/shop/clothing - "Not the Worst Mom" and "I Hate People"
https://happyland.shop/collections/crewnecks - "Society of Junior Grannies - Youthfully Mastering The Dark Arts of the Geriatric"
I have the Bea Arthur mug from Real Salty and a local-themed crewneck from Happyland.
I have Jessica Valenti’s Abortion, Everyday’s T shirt that says: “Abortion Bans can fu*ck off into the sun”. Also more than one Ween AND Steely Dan T-shirt. All of these things are important to me! LOL
I wear Pizza John tees, which are sold yearly as a charity fundraiser by a niche internet fandom. If someone else is in the same internet community, they strike up a conversation, and if they’re not, it reads as weird / quirky so only other weird / quirky types talk to me. Win-win!
This thread could not be more perfectly timed. My book club's holiday party is buying one person a funny t-shirt. Following closely!
Libby I came here looking for ideas for shirts to buy for this! Shoo, you!
LOL
This is only available on a bucket hat which is why I haven't pulled the trigger but I appreciate the sentiment. I deeply, deeply, DEEPLY wish it was on a tee shirt that I would wear standing next to my husband at his middle age white man concerts. Plus the store name is just . . . 10/10.
https://patriarchysworstnightmare.com/collections/garms/products/the-good-pussy-hat