39 Comments

if I were a tradwife I would think long and hard about replying sincerely to my husband's text asking if he should stop and see a scenic geyser while on his work trip instead of just replying "Yolo"

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The Mrs. Ron DeSantis part killed me.

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I once got a letter from my school asking for money addressed to Mrs. "My husband's full name here." I emailed them and said my husband didn't go to their school and while I took his last name, I did not take his first name, so they better use my name on any future mailings if they wanted a shred of success with getting me to donate anything. Also, I opened a bank account for my husband and I after we got married. I ordered checks. This was when you walked your ass into the bank and sat with somebody to discuss these oh so complicated tasks. I told her to put my name first on the checks and she asked me if I was sure because she didn't want me to come back next week because my husband complained. I assured her that since I walked my fat ass to the bank and did this task for both me and my husband, he was going to be fine with it. And, if anybody came back in to complain about it, it wasn't going to be me.

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My favorite is when my relatives call me that via holiday cards. Brah you met my husband ONE time.

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Yes! This is where it took complete flight to perfection.

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And not in a dickish way, because that's actually how they refer to her!

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I laughed out loud by myself at my desk. Chef's kiss

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TWO PERIODS A MONTH my sister in christ what the HELL

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I know, but the good news is I have 2x the excuse to be a real bitch

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Just so you know: you are so not alone in this! I was like, SERIOUSLY? Another period, just 15 days later??? But then sometimes it's like 45 days. Or 60. And I start getting hopeful: maybe this is it. Maybe I'll never have another period again. And then, it shows up w a vengenance.

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for me the part that's wild is that the weak one comes first and then the 'serious' one comes after which seems backwards but I just live here.

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Right? You think “oh! That was an easy one!” But no! It was just the junior varsity warm up match.

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Bahaha. Just a scrimmage

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No excuses needed (sunglasses emoji here)

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I'm deceased. Thank you.

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I think I fell all the way in love with you today

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Same. I just became a paid subscriber. I thought I was, but didn't realize it until I tried to comment.

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thank you! I hope you enjoy it.

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"I would finally be able to have the beautiful baby girl of my dreams to be my helper and one true friend, or maybe four more boys, which would also be a blessing." LOL

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I have the matching dresses in my online shopping cart just ready to hit checkout

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Buying the matching dresses is the only part of this agenda I am qualified to achieve

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This part made me laugh out loud

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You forgot the biggest skill of the #tradwife. Getting all those sponsors to pay for her ability to be home and be beautiful.

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This was SO good. I cannot pick a favorite line, but this was one of them: “or when the apocalypse comes (god willing!)”

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I’ve consumed a lot of trad wife content from writers I love and respect lately, but this is by far my favorite.

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Housework before bed. Oh hell no.

Also “That’s right. I said boy.”

Thanks for getting my TGIF off to a good start.

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I couldn’t decide on a favorite bit - each time, I’d keep reading and you kept delivering.

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My approach to the Tonka toys: They stayed in the corner of the yard, by the hedges, exactly where someone left them one day, for years and years and years, while the boys grew up. I kinda got attached to them there: you know, the visible symbol that I once had boys who played w Tonka trucks in that little corner. And then, when I sold the house & was finally forced to deal them, I picked them up & threw them in the garbage. (B/c 20 yrs of rain, wind, & snow are not kind to Tonka trucks) ;)

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ooh it was so annoying, I thought i was done and then I'd turn one over and a whole new layer of filth would be revealed. And I wanted to just say f it but the neighbor I'm donating it to for the yard sale is a Deaf senior and I can't be like "This is your problem now bitch!"

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"I would magically be good at styling my hair with heating tools." <-- my forever dream.

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I think I could give it all up for this and this alone

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I literally laughed out loud here at my desk at work over this: "I would finally be able to have the beautiful baby girl of my dreams to be my helper and one true friend, or maybe four more boys, which would also be a blessing." (Still laughing, actually.)

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WOW was this one a great read - I am dying laughing, thank you Claire!!!!

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this is why we subscribe

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