11 Comments

OK, this was fascinating. I learned a lot and yes, identified a few spots where I've just been a judgy het monogamy lady about these scenarios and need to get over myself. So appreciate you and your sources sharing all of this!

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i am a polyamorous person with a husband and a girlfriend and a one year old! and it is HARD but is also so rewarding. There’s a lot here that i resonated with and i wish there were more spaces to talk about this.

I also love the comment that it changed some “judgey het lady” ideas from Virginia Sole-Smith. I hope that happens a lot more bc there is so much misconception of what polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and relationship anarchy actually are and how they play out.

Love as thou wilt. (if anyone gets this reference let’s be besties).

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I was very impressed by everyone's emotional maturity here as well as opening your mind to the idea that more people means more love and energy. I think that's a hard one wrap your brain around sometimes when parenthood can indicate the opposite.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Thank you for this! I learned new things and feel energized in a fun way. Your newsletter is such a unique delight.

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thank you! That's how I felt too after these conversations--energized. Like--"there is another way! good for them."

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"You can do an analysis of monogamy from the perspective of property law. We see a lot of it from the Christian white supremacy movement and the attacks on abortion. I’m trying to claw back an ownership role for women under a patriarchal society. One of the reasons I persist is that it’s just a huge fuck you. I won my sexuality, and that belongs wholly to me. " - I have no tattoos as of yet but might get this on my body?

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I know when she said that I was like AAAH CLOSING QUOTE CITY POPULATION US

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Interesting stuff! A quote that jumps out at me is "whatever your sexual orientation, nobody wants to hear about your sex life." Everyone reading and commenting on this post might disagree, ha. We humans can be a nosy bunch, so thanks for the personal glimpses!

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ha! I know she meant "when it comes to admins at school" and work etc. But yeah of course off the job we all want to know. :)

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Mar 9, 2023
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hi! person in question here. we were free to do physical things with other people from the waist up - kissing, touching, etc - but kept our bottom halves exclusive for each other. we were just making it up as we went along!

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thanks! I didn't inquire but I infer it means it was fine to make out with/hold hands/fondle up top, but not from the bottom down.

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