I loved this. So much inspiration here. I have a decade before my littlest goes to college, and I'm already looking forward to it a bit ... while also considering how to convert the garage into a separate apartment.
My ex just had a baby and reset his freedom clock. Seeing a man a tick away from 50 with an infant makes me excited about where I am.
I never felt bad about our empty nest. Raising kids is hard work. We are still very close with both of our kids, seeing or talking to them every day. They are smart, funny, hard-working, fully functioning members of society. Young mamas, you have a lot to look forward to.
While mine are still pretty little, and I’m enjoying the stage we are in, I’ve always felt strongly that I wanted to have kids so I could have future adults! I’m so curious and excited to see where life takes them. I also put energy and thought into creating rituals and connections that can take us into adulthood. I don’t want my kids to never leave, but I hope we will have things we enjoy doing together when we can. I’m really looking forward to being able to socialize more spontaneously with friends!
SAME!! I agreed to having a baby because I envisioned an adult child. Then when she was one we kind of adopted my husband’s former high school student mentee and had an instant 19yo adult child. That summer of no naps and shitty bedtime, I felt very tricked let me tell you!!! Now she is 5 almost 6 and he is 23 almost 24 and one day he will move out on his own (and hopefully still see us regularly, the ties are different in this relationship than if we had known him his whole life instead of just since he was 17). And eventually she will grow up to!
This was so wonderful and wise and hopeful. Thank you for sharing the perspective from "the other side." Sometimes I think back to when I was in college and my best friend and I would put on our black "going out pants" and dance at the local bars every Thursday night. I remember looking over at her and saying, "I hope we do this forever! Even when we're old, I hope we still go out and dance!" I remember feeling so genuinely sad about the possibility that we might not have this exact type of fun later in life. Well, now that I'm Later in Life, dancing at the clubs is the last thing on earth I want to do. All this to say, this interview made me hopeful that parenting will follow a similar trajectory, and when the next phase comes, I'll be ready for it. xx
I am very excited at the prospect of empty nesting, but I have a kindergartner. My sister would tell you this is because my pre-kid life was as a fake empty nester which, as I volunteered as (not a) docent on a weekday at the local zoo and was an active quilter and member of my quilt guild, well she wasn’t wrong, exactly. We also have an acquired 23yo who we acquired when the 5yo was only 1, so we are also on the please get your wings and fly large adult baby bird stage of things also. But, I cannot wait to empty nest. I cannot wait to move from the family room to my own dedicated quilt space (when the 23yo gets wings). I have never been that sentimental about my baby growing up as that has always been the point. I wanted to parent an adult child (but careful what you wish for!), and hopefully they both will be happy healthy independent adults. One of them soon.
This was great! I have one grown and one almost there. I had a total meltdown when the first one left home and I’ve been afraid that it might happen again the second time around. I’ve tried to think about the up side of an empty nest but end up feeling guilty about it. This is a whole new perspective that I really needed though. Thank you. 🙌🏻
I have a college freshman and junior, so we are halfway to total empty nesting (although we have no problem with kids coming back for a year or so after graduation. I did that myself). This year, with both kids gone, I've immediately noticed the fewer loads of laundry (I have particular laundry preferences, so I do it) and running the dishwasher less. Lower grocery bills but more carryout, lol. We mostly communicate with the kids via text, sending funny memes and quick questions, both in a family chat and as individuals. Regular Sunday night FaceTime calls. Our kids have different school calendars, so they each get 'quality alone time' with us before school starts/before and after breaks, etc. My husband and I do the typical 'find a TV show to watch together'. I'm starting a few regular volunteering rotations and my husband already has a cause he works with. It's a little more relaxed on a daily basis, a little bit slower paced, and I do enjoy the brief bursts of busyness when the kids are back in the house!
I love this topic. Personally I think about this a lot. Probably my only measure of my motherhood is when my kids are adults, would they still want to hang out with me :) Only 15 more years to go!
I loved this. So much inspiration here. I have a decade before my littlest goes to college, and I'm already looking forward to it a bit ... while also considering how to convert the garage into a separate apartment.
My ex just had a baby and reset his freedom clock. Seeing a man a tick away from 50 with an infant makes me excited about where I am.
I never felt bad about our empty nest. Raising kids is hard work. We are still very close with both of our kids, seeing or talking to them every day. They are smart, funny, hard-working, fully functioning members of society. Young mamas, you have a lot to look forward to.
While mine are still pretty little, and I’m enjoying the stage we are in, I’ve always felt strongly that I wanted to have kids so I could have future adults! I’m so curious and excited to see where life takes them. I also put energy and thought into creating rituals and connections that can take us into adulthood. I don’t want my kids to never leave, but I hope we will have things we enjoy doing together when we can. I’m really looking forward to being able to socialize more spontaneously with friends!
SAME!! I agreed to having a baby because I envisioned an adult child. Then when she was one we kind of adopted my husband’s former high school student mentee and had an instant 19yo adult child. That summer of no naps and shitty bedtime, I felt very tricked let me tell you!!! Now she is 5 almost 6 and he is 23 almost 24 and one day he will move out on his own (and hopefully still see us regularly, the ties are different in this relationship than if we had known him his whole life instead of just since he was 17). And eventually she will grow up to!
This was so wonderful and wise and hopeful. Thank you for sharing the perspective from "the other side." Sometimes I think back to when I was in college and my best friend and I would put on our black "going out pants" and dance at the local bars every Thursday night. I remember looking over at her and saying, "I hope we do this forever! Even when we're old, I hope we still go out and dance!" I remember feeling so genuinely sad about the possibility that we might not have this exact type of fun later in life. Well, now that I'm Later in Life, dancing at the clubs is the last thing on earth I want to do. All this to say, this interview made me hopeful that parenting will follow a similar trajectory, and when the next phase comes, I'll be ready for it. xx
Oh, those black going out pants! In my day, it was black Guess jeans, so that tells you my age ;)
Ah, the cachet of Guess jeans! :)
I am very excited at the prospect of empty nesting, but I have a kindergartner. My sister would tell you this is because my pre-kid life was as a fake empty nester which, as I volunteered as (not a) docent on a weekday at the local zoo and was an active quilter and member of my quilt guild, well she wasn’t wrong, exactly. We also have an acquired 23yo who we acquired when the 5yo was only 1, so we are also on the please get your wings and fly large adult baby bird stage of things also. But, I cannot wait to empty nest. I cannot wait to move from the family room to my own dedicated quilt space (when the 23yo gets wings). I have never been that sentimental about my baby growing up as that has always been the point. I wanted to parent an adult child (but careful what you wish for!), and hopefully they both will be happy healthy independent adults. One of them soon.
This was great! I have one grown and one almost there. I had a total meltdown when the first one left home and I’ve been afraid that it might happen again the second time around. I’ve tried to think about the up side of an empty nest but end up feeling guilty about it. This is a whole new perspective that I really needed though. Thank you. 🙌🏻
I have a college freshman and junior, so we are halfway to total empty nesting (although we have no problem with kids coming back for a year or so after graduation. I did that myself). This year, with both kids gone, I've immediately noticed the fewer loads of laundry (I have particular laundry preferences, so I do it) and running the dishwasher less. Lower grocery bills but more carryout, lol. We mostly communicate with the kids via text, sending funny memes and quick questions, both in a family chat and as individuals. Regular Sunday night FaceTime calls. Our kids have different school calendars, so they each get 'quality alone time' with us before school starts/before and after breaks, etc. My husband and I do the typical 'find a TV show to watch together'. I'm starting a few regular volunteering rotations and my husband already has a cause he works with. It's a little more relaxed on a daily basis, a little bit slower paced, and I do enjoy the brief bursts of busyness when the kids are back in the house!
This makes me feel hopeful about a stage that is fast coming.
I love this topic. Personally I think about this a lot. Probably my only measure of my motherhood is when my kids are adults, would they still want to hang out with me :) Only 15 more years to go!
"Now, we love to go to Disneyland by ourselves, get a beer, and watch other people’s little kids melt down." Best possible ending, ever.
I know, I can't wait to be there.
(by which I mean that side of life, not disney specifically)