Witches be shopping online
...and not feeling great about it
A conflicted witch wrote in:
“After a few conversations about guilt around online shopping, I am plagued by anxiety about my habits. I buy things online several days a week. A lot of it is stuff we need for this kid. My daughter lost her mittens this week, and the last time that happened (she loses everything all the time) we went to Target and they were sold out of the kind she needed, so it was 90 minutes + wasted. I didn't have time to run all over town before, but I really don't have time to run all over town to stores that seem to not have the things I need anymore. It's just a math problem. And yet I still feel so guilty. Because I know in my heart I'm buying more than I would if I didn't have access to this frictionless purchasing experience. The convenience is so great, but I also feel a little ill every time I do it. I don't know if I'm even asking a question here.”
Witches definitely responded:
“The thought of driving all over town to find something makes me wants to crawl into bed and never get out.”
“We have kids gloves in the stores for like a minute and a half and yet we live with 6 months of winter! Plus the only decent stores to buy actual waterproof gloves are far as f. We literally can’t not order online.”
“With a full-time job, a child, and only one car, I truly don't have time to do all my shopping in brick-and-mortar stores. The way I make peace with it is by buying as much as I can in my own neighborhood (toys, books, stocking stuffers, gift cards), and then yes, the rest comes from online. I feel the guilt, too, but I'm not sure what else to do other than stop buying gifts, and I don't even have to shop for that many people. But when my mom wants a 2020 wall calendar featuring Spain and my husband wants a specific fish-turning cooking tool... online it is.”
“I keep trying to practice a mantra, which is, ‘I have enough.’ But then FUCKING MADEWELL flashes an adorable sweater at me and I'm weak. I feel totally inundated with advertisements all day long. That's my problem with FB and Insta, but even just being on the internet at all makes it terribly difficult to exercise self control.”
“I actually did a step back this morning, I was about to buy some books, and then remembered that I will be right by the library tomorrow morning. That's a win, right? At least until I get charged the late fees?”
“I bought all my kid's Xmas presents on Amazon, had some sent to me, the rest sent to my mom's place in Florida (where we were for Xmas) and I was like I LOVE AMAZON. I mean honestly, I don't know how our parents survived the holidays. You couldn't pay me to walk around a mall shopping for gifts for hours and lugging bags and coats and crap. PS. I'm a terrible overspender, listen to nothing I say.”
“This is also me. I do most of my shopping online too (I have a 70-minute commute 2X / day and work in the middle of fuck-all) and it's so easy. I have talked with my therapist about it! She noted that for me, fashion is a form of expression and it's okay to care about it. She also is helping me with certain boundaries — I declared September a ‘no buy’ month (nothing ever seems to be on sale in March and September), which I violated twice to replace my face cream and to buy a pair of loafers on Poshmark. I wasn’t perfect, but I spent less than $100 that month, and I really saw it in my bank account. Now I make myself wait at least 24 hours after I put something in a cart before pulling the trigger, and I check Poshmark first. I also think it's a coping mechanism sometimes. The world is fucked up, and two-day shipping can literally bring joy.”
“My husband and I have a huge ongoing argument about Amazon, with him citing all their labor practices and general evilness and me countering with, ‘Okay, so you go get the kids XYZ and the lightbulbs and replace the broken drill etc etc."‘ I'm a fucking author! Of course I get how Amazon is evil. But yes, I am conflicted. Still, my time and energy are finite and I prioritize them all too often, not that I'm proud of it.”
“As someone who writes mid-list trade how-to books, Amazon is better than almost any other bookstore. The independents don't stock the things I write. And Amazon will give me things that my publisher won't, like Bookscan info.”
“I get everything from Women & Children First in Chicago because if it's not in stock there, they'll order it and it arrives in a few days. But this is easy for me because it's a two-block walk from my house. If only they also sold humidifier filters and cooking supplies and candles…”
“I, the person who yesterday ordered some sort of Swedish silicone face washer that will sonically vibrate my face into an expanse of youthful, dewy softness, have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I have been shopping WAY too much to manage my feelings, and totally had an embarrassing argument with my husband over my spending.”
“A dress arrived from The RealReal today that I had no memory of purchasing. Thank god I deleted the app from my phone.”
“One time I bought the same dress twice.”
“I remember an Internet girl sending herself a Sephora package with a lovely gift note for the (presumably) sober self who would be receiving the order. I have definitely had... similar experiences.”
“Thank you for saying this because it has happened to me and I am ashamed! I think it really is a thing to have too many glasses of wine and accidentally hit ‘purchase’ with your elbow. Of course, if there was nothing already in the cart, I would not have this problem.”
“I have curbed my online shopping to some degree by doing combo online/bricks-and-mortar shopping. If it's clothing, I remind myself that nothing ever fits right, and research where I can find the thing locally if possible. Then instead of buying the thing, often I'll take a pic with the pricetag and often the urge passes. For the furnace filter, Home Depot has an inventory system so I can look up exactly what shelf the thing is on that I need. I pay in advance for in-store pick-up and then I just run in, grab it already bagged, and leave. Same with books: Saves cost of shipping, or the dreaded temptation to spend only $50 more dollars to get free shipping, and sometimes the process satisfies the ‘need’ and I don't need to spend money at all.”
“So this is one of the only things that makes me feel good about Rent the Runway. It feels earth friendly to keep a capsule wardrobe and rent around it.”
“Everything is made in China now. EV-ER-Y-THING. My DVF dress that I love? China. My J. Crew Factory sweater-blazer? China. My beloved Amazon caftans? Also China. I keep thinking, okay, which corporation deserves my money? Amazon is evil, but it's not like Gap / Old Navy are lovely companies that take care of people. In late stage capitalism, it's hard to buy ethically. I would love to buy all my clothes at the nice, sustainable boutique on my street that puts a lot of effort into ethical consumption, but I wear a 14 and am 5'2" and they don't sell shit that fits my not-really-so-fat-but-not-tiny ass.”
“It's seriously impossible. Gudrun Sjödén makes well-crafted clothes that I am going to want to wear until they fall apart. They make clothes from recycled fibers. They engage in green manufacturing. They still make clothes in China. Eileen Fisher is, as far as I know, about as ethical as it gets, but that is a very specific style that will not work for every profession and it's $$$.”
“A few years ago I decided to do a ‘buy nothing’ light: unless I actually needed the clothing, like socks or tights or something, I wasn't going to buy anything. I unsubscribed from all the store emails, so I wasn't worried about missing out on a good sale. I used to never buy anything from Amazon because of their terrible warehouse labor practices and their cannibalization of bookstores, but I wanted to watch stuff on Prime so I backslid. I'm going to try to be better, but I still can't deal with actual shopping. Luckily, I ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon yesterday before I felt conflicted.”
“I have so much anxiety about the online shopping. My credit card statement arrived Saturday and I just about had a heart attack with all the Christmas gifts, our home and auto insurance premium, and oh yeah, a couple of lipsticks for me too. And then a bill arrived for X-rays I had a couple of weeks ago and good god why is everything so expensive? But we need to have a Christmas and diapers.”
Are there any witches out there with wisdom on best practices for shopping more mindfully yet also practically (while allowing for a modicum of self-care and fun)? Is ordering from Amazon ever preferable to driving a gas-fueled car around town to hit up the brick and mortars?
End credits
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