Evil Witches and Burnt Toast are the only Substacks I pay for! Love to see you coming together, Wonder Twins-style. Both of your newsletters have been so, SO helpful to me as a fat woman, a person with ADHD, and a mom to two neurodivergent kids.
Not my kid but a friend of my kid has complained about 5th/6th grade kids being mean to him and teasing him (sometimes it’s about him being chubby, sometimes I just suspect his body type is why certain kids feel like there’s an opening to target him). I hate it. He’s not my kid so I try to stick with telling him those kids are being donkey butts and telling my kid to tell them to knock it off, if it ever happens when he’s around but it usually doesn’t because middle school kids are like little heat seeking missiles for moments of weakness in another child.
Dec 8, 2022·edited Dec 8, 2022Liked by Claire Zulkey
As mother of a 3.5 yo and general novice witch I have nothing of substance to add except to say I feel so seen by the end of this newsletter. I love the tiny victories section at the end of Jess Grose’s NYT parenting newsletter but sometimes I need someone to explode in rage with me
Last night we put on quite a spectacle after my husband started getting notifications at 10 PM that someone was attempting to buy Kindle apps with a screen they snuck into their room. What's the opposite of a Tiny Victory, a massive defeat? We need more space for that sometimes.
Omg I love that they couldn’t quite pull it off--they had to push the boundary. It wasn’t enough to have the secret screen, or be up late--they HAD to try to buy the apps. And by love I mean I totally understand the justified rage and spectacle of wtf, child, please just go to sleep.
My daughter hasn’t developed a sense of awareness about body image yet, but speaking from my own experience, the best advice I can give is to model what you want to see. My mom often told me how beautiful I was or that I was a perfect weight while constantly complaining about her own looks and weight in the same breath. It was confusing and contradictory and made me not trust her opinion.
yeah--my dad had the words about how fatness was not good but my mom, the former beauty pageant winner (seriously) said nothing but her coffee and cigarettes for breakfast/lunch also said a lot.
💜💜💜💜 thank you for doing this piece! Love being a witch.
Evil Witches and Burnt Toast are the only Substacks I pay for! Love to see you coming together, Wonder Twins-style. Both of your newsletters have been so, SO helpful to me as a fat woman, a person with ADHD, and a mom to two neurodivergent kids.
Thank you Julia!! I was a fangirl of VSS first and basically FORCED her to be my pal. I recommend this tactic to anyone, it's very normal and healthy
Not my kid but a friend of my kid has complained about 5th/6th grade kids being mean to him and teasing him (sometimes it’s about him being chubby, sometimes I just suspect his body type is why certain kids feel like there’s an opening to target him). I hate it. He’s not my kid so I try to stick with telling him those kids are being donkey butts and telling my kid to tell them to knock it off, if it ever happens when he’s around but it usually doesn’t because middle school kids are like little heat seeking missiles for moments of weakness in another child.
donkey butts!
you sound like a great bonus mom to him. <3
As mother of a 3.5 yo and general novice witch I have nothing of substance to add except to say I feel so seen by the end of this newsletter. I love the tiny victories section at the end of Jess Grose’s NYT parenting newsletter but sometimes I need someone to explode in rage with me
Last night we put on quite a spectacle after my husband started getting notifications at 10 PM that someone was attempting to buy Kindle apps with a screen they snuck into their room. What's the opposite of a Tiny Victory, a massive defeat? We need more space for that sometimes.
Omg I love that they couldn’t quite pull it off--they had to push the boundary. It wasn’t enough to have the secret screen, or be up late--they HAD to try to buy the apps. And by love I mean I totally understand the justified rage and spectacle of wtf, child, please just go to sleep.
My daughter hasn’t developed a sense of awareness about body image yet, but speaking from my own experience, the best advice I can give is to model what you want to see. My mom often told me how beautiful I was or that I was a perfect weight while constantly complaining about her own looks and weight in the same breath. It was confusing and contradictory and made me not trust her opinion.
yeah--my dad had the words about how fatness was not good but my mom, the former beauty pageant winner (seriously) said nothing but her coffee and cigarettes for breakfast/lunch also said a lot.
So much great info here! It’s wonderful the 11 year old shared their thoughts.
We have a podcast episode during which we interviewed our daughters, then ages 10-16 about messages diet cultures messages they hear out there in the world. The 11 year old might find it a helpful episode. https://sunnysideupnutrition.com/episode/caroline-ellie-miriam-izzie-perspectives-from-our-kids/
Thank you for reminding me about this episode -- one of my favorites!!
This couldn’t come at a better time. My
9 year old has expressed these feelings to me and it’s so tough to not get mine tangled up in them. This is so helpful. 💓
I'm so sorry you've got this on your mind rn. It's so true what they say, you're only as happy as your unhappiest kid.